Sunday, November 21, 2004
Healing progression in pictures
It's been six months since that fateful day back in May, and I was just looking through my pictures. I'm amazed that I have a photo collection of my healing process, and even more amazed that the pictures were all self-portraits, taken by my holding the camera in front on myself and just snapping away. It's nice that today's digital cameras can take decent photos with little human interaction (after all I did click to take the picture, but I certainly didn't help by composing the picture!)...
Monday, November 1, 2004
Things I've learned along the way
It's been an interesting journey!
Some thoughts and things I learned (mostly about myself) as I traveled the path to recovery...
There seem to be two of me involved in my recovery - the Denise who expects to be all better already, and the Denise who has a brain that seems to be a part of slowing her down. Yes, you're absolutely right, there is only one of me! My docs all tell me it's likely that it will take six to twelve months from that fateful accident day to return to what I consider to be my normal state. That's hard for me to accept, but I have a feeling that is my reality. And I still continue to expect too much of myself. Are you really surprised?
I'm more impatient than I used to be - or at least I don't know how to hide it anymore. Although I have to admit that a good deal of my impatience deals with the speed - or lack of speed - of my full recovery. As of August 10th, all things considered I'm in really good shape, but I'm not in the kind of shape I was in pre-accident. And of course that's where I want to be. And I can't wait until I'm ready to take off on my next bike tour!
Even though I know my healing body needs good nutrition, sometimes nothing sounds enticing. At those time my new staple food is a yogurt fruit shake. I use a hand-held blender - and I have to admit I don't know what I did before I owned it - and I mix up a half a cup of juice, a half to a whole cup of non-fat plain yogurt, and fruit, usually banana, strawberries, and blueberries. Yum! When the fresh berries disappear from the market I'll probably switch to frozen. I wonder if there's a non-power-driven version of the blender? These drinks would taste really good on a tour. Of course the blender isn't the only problem here - non-refrigerated yogurt probably wouldn't work too well either!
I've always appreciated good friends - including my immediate family who as far as I'm concerned fall into the good friends category too - and my friends were definitely there for me. And they are still there. Of course that includes my crazyguyonabike.com friends too. I heard from a lot of folks there, and all of the messages definitely lifted my spirits.
I'm very happy that I have good health insurance. I remember being out of work and between jobs the summer I rode across America. Since I was out of work and my employer had gone out of business, I didn't have employer-based health insurance available to me. I opted to pay my own way to make sure I was covered in the event of an accident. A number of people suggested that I leave a back-dated check just in case, but I was much more comfortable with knowing that I was covered. And based on my May 20th accident experience, I'm both happy that I have good insurance and convinced I did the right thing back in the summer of 2002. It's interesting; I have the ability to look at the insurance claims online, and I'm absolutely astounded at the cost of some of the services as well as the amount that the insurance company actually pays (much less than the billed amount!) - and pays in such a way that I'm not responsible for the balance. I believe that if I wasn't covered by insurance that I'd be responsible for the full amount - not the partial amount that the insurance company gets away with.
I have a new appreciation for what to send folks who are in the hospital. Flowers are beautiful, but how many does any one person need? Simple cards, notes, and emails were wonderful. Gifts of food - chocolate, cookies, and the nutritious variety were all greatly appreciated. Some of that was donated to my fellow patients and to the folks who were taking care of me. And I have a couple of new stuffed animals that make me smile... Oh wait, you already know about one of them - Biker Chick, the crazy red dog!
Still improving... those facial scars are still visible but definitely much improved. This photo was taken on September 19th, which is a bit over 4 months since the crash (or should I call it a head plant?)
This photo was taken on October 26th (in Hawaii, standing on lava that is from the spring 2003 flow - relatively new, all things considered). Scars? Yes, they are still visible, but improving - each month is better. That chain around my neck? Didn't I promise you that I'd wear my RoadID?
Some thoughts and things I learned (mostly about myself) as I traveled the path to recovery...
There seem to be two of me involved in my recovery - the Denise who expects to be all better already, and the Denise who has a brain that seems to be a part of slowing her down. Yes, you're absolutely right, there is only one of me! My docs all tell me it's likely that it will take six to twelve months from that fateful accident day to return to what I consider to be my normal state. That's hard for me to accept, but I have a feeling that is my reality. And I still continue to expect too much of myself. Are you really surprised?
I'm more impatient than I used to be - or at least I don't know how to hide it anymore. Although I have to admit that a good deal of my impatience deals with the speed - or lack of speed - of my full recovery. As of August 10th, all things considered I'm in really good shape, but I'm not in the kind of shape I was in pre-accident. And of course that's where I want to be. And I can't wait until I'm ready to take off on my next bike tour!
Even though I know my healing body needs good nutrition, sometimes nothing sounds enticing. At those time my new staple food is a yogurt fruit shake. I use a hand-held blender - and I have to admit I don't know what I did before I owned it - and I mix up a half a cup of juice, a half to a whole cup of non-fat plain yogurt, and fruit, usually banana, strawberries, and blueberries. Yum! When the fresh berries disappear from the market I'll probably switch to frozen. I wonder if there's a non-power-driven version of the blender? These drinks would taste really good on a tour. Of course the blender isn't the only problem here - non-refrigerated yogurt probably wouldn't work too well either!
I've always appreciated good friends - including my immediate family who as far as I'm concerned fall into the good friends category too - and my friends were definitely there for me. And they are still there. Of course that includes my crazyguyonabike.com friends too. I heard from a lot of folks there, and all of the messages definitely lifted my spirits.
I'm very happy that I have good health insurance. I remember being out of work and between jobs the summer I rode across America. Since I was out of work and my employer had gone out of business, I didn't have employer-based health insurance available to me. I opted to pay my own way to make sure I was covered in the event of an accident. A number of people suggested that I leave a back-dated check just in case, but I was much more comfortable with knowing that I was covered. And based on my May 20th accident experience, I'm both happy that I have good insurance and convinced I did the right thing back in the summer of 2002. It's interesting; I have the ability to look at the insurance claims online, and I'm absolutely astounded at the cost of some of the services as well as the amount that the insurance company actually pays (much less than the billed amount!) - and pays in such a way that I'm not responsible for the balance. I believe that if I wasn't covered by insurance that I'd be responsible for the full amount - not the partial amount that the insurance company gets away with.
I have a new appreciation for what to send folks who are in the hospital. Flowers are beautiful, but how many does any one person need? Simple cards, notes, and emails were wonderful. Gifts of food - chocolate, cookies, and the nutritious variety were all greatly appreciated. Some of that was donated to my fellow patients and to the folks who were taking care of me. And I have a couple of new stuffed animals that make me smile... Oh wait, you already know about one of them - Biker Chick, the crazy red dog!
And here's something I already knew, and it's still true. Riding a bike and touring by bike are both important to me. I'm back on my bike, and I'm working at improving. And soon (I hope) I'll be ready to head out on my bike on a tour again. It probably won't be a soon as I'd like, but it's going to happen!
Still improving... those facial scars are still visible but definitely much improved. This photo was taken on September 19th, which is a bit over 4 months since the crash (or should I call it a head plant?)
This photo was taken on October 26th (in Hawaii, standing on lava that is from the spring 2003 flow - relatively new, all things considered). Scars? Yes, they are still visible, but improving - each month is better. That chain around my neck? Didn't I promise you that I'd wear my RoadID?
Monday, September 6, 2004
It's time to dream
...of next year as I continue to recover
It's hard to believe that it's been almost four months since that day in May when my bike and I went for a different kind of ride - and not the kind of ride that I'd like to repeat! I had hoped to recover enough to head off on a bike tour this year, but I think it's a smarter decision to allow my body the time it needs to heal.
My next tour? My heart is set on at least one tour in 2005. I had 3 short tours planned for 2004 that I had to cancel, so the easy way out is to use this year's plans for next year. But it's highly likely that I'll dream of someplace else to add to my touring dreams.
It's time to dream...
It's hard to believe that it's been almost four months since that day in May when my bike and I went for a different kind of ride - and not the kind of ride that I'd like to repeat! I had hoped to recover enough to head off on a bike tour this year, but I think it's a smarter decision to allow my body the time it needs to heal.
My next tour? My heart is set on at least one tour in 2005. I had 3 short tours planned for 2004 that I had to cancel, so the easy way out is to use this year's plans for next year. But it's highly likely that I'll dream of someplace else to add to my touring dreams.
It's time to dream...
A holiday weekend
...means 3 days for riding & resting
Another week of working and not biking (on the week-days, that is) was capped off by a beautiful weekend with what I consider perfect cycling temperatures. I vote for more weather like this, and more 3-day weekends! I continued my habit of walking an hour to an hour and a half each day, and I'm definitely noticing the change in daylight. I wish we could keep the summer daylight around for a while longer, but I guess I'll have to adjust to walking in the evening as the daylight is disappearing, and to walking after it has disappeared, too!
It was a good week from a dizziness perspective. Maybe I shouldn't say anything - after all I don't want to jinx myself! But - while I still have times when I feel dizzy, I had no (all day) dizzy days last week, as contrasted to one the week before, and three just two short weeks ago. I think - I hope - that I'm moving in the right direction.
Ah, there are still some late summer blooms out there...
Beautiful sky as the sun is starting to slip away
Saturday dawned as a beautiful day. I needed a change of pace, and the weather was definitely cooperating, so I loaded my bike into the car and headed for the coast. I found a free parking lot in Seabrook Beach, New Hampshire - so that became the starting point for my ride. It was going to be an out-and-back ride, so I needed to guess what my body would be happy with as a mileage total for the day. If I was still full of energy when I got back to the car I figured I could continue to head south for a bit further, and then turn around again. That turned out not to be a problem though. I rode 14 miles north, and then as the road started to wander away from the coast I figured that was a good point to turn around. A total of 28 miles was good for the day. I always enjoy riding next to the ocean although riding through Hampton Beach once in a day is really enough. It's a typical beach town with a fair amount of traffic, and it was on my route twice - out-and-back, no way to avoid it! The ride was definitely a nice change of pace for me. I'll have to wander off on different roads more often...
It's too bad that this sign and the resulting totally free bike lane only existed for a couple of miles of my route today. It would be awesome to have a dedicated bike lane / open shoulder along the entire coastal route. But I guess I have to be satisfied with a couple of miles as a start.
I'm sure the sea gulls think they own this building!
Sunday and Monday were beautiful days too, with temperatures that were just about perfect for riding, in the high 60s. I could live in this weather indefinitely - too bad the weather doesn't listen to me! I stayed close to home both days, riding loops, putting in 22 miles on Sunday and 23 on Monday, and wandering down some new roads too. My energy level still isn't supporting expanding my rides into longer rides and I know I have to accept that for now. I'll keep riding every weekend though...
It's funny, people who don't bicycle think my little 22 to 28 miles rides are long. When I was chatting with my neighbors earlier today they were very surprised when I told them that at this time in a normal season I can happily ride 50 to 75 miles without even thinking about it. They were somewhat shocked and told me that they consider my current ride length to be long. I know I'm doing what I can physically handle right now, but I still think in the overall scheme of things that my current rides are pretty short!
Another week of working and not biking (on the week-days, that is) was capped off by a beautiful weekend with what I consider perfect cycling temperatures. I vote for more weather like this, and more 3-day weekends! I continued my habit of walking an hour to an hour and a half each day, and I'm definitely noticing the change in daylight. I wish we could keep the summer daylight around for a while longer, but I guess I'll have to adjust to walking in the evening as the daylight is disappearing, and to walking after it has disappeared, too!
It was a good week from a dizziness perspective. Maybe I shouldn't say anything - after all I don't want to jinx myself! But - while I still have times when I feel dizzy, I had no (all day) dizzy days last week, as contrasted to one the week before, and three just two short weeks ago. I think - I hope - that I'm moving in the right direction.
Ah, there are still some late summer blooms out there...
Beautiful sky as the sun is starting to slip away
Saturday dawned as a beautiful day. I needed a change of pace, and the weather was definitely cooperating, so I loaded my bike into the car and headed for the coast. I found a free parking lot in Seabrook Beach, New Hampshire - so that became the starting point for my ride. It was going to be an out-and-back ride, so I needed to guess what my body would be happy with as a mileage total for the day. If I was still full of energy when I got back to the car I figured I could continue to head south for a bit further, and then turn around again. That turned out not to be a problem though. I rode 14 miles north, and then as the road started to wander away from the coast I figured that was a good point to turn around. A total of 28 miles was good for the day. I always enjoy riding next to the ocean although riding through Hampton Beach once in a day is really enough. It's a typical beach town with a fair amount of traffic, and it was on my route twice - out-and-back, no way to avoid it! The ride was definitely a nice change of pace for me. I'll have to wander off on different roads more often...
It's too bad that this sign and the resulting totally free bike lane only existed for a couple of miles of my route today. It would be awesome to have a dedicated bike lane / open shoulder along the entire coastal route. But I guess I have to be satisfied with a couple of miles as a start.
I'm sure the sea gulls think they own this building!
Sunday and Monday were beautiful days too, with temperatures that were just about perfect for riding, in the high 60s. I could live in this weather indefinitely - too bad the weather doesn't listen to me! I stayed close to home both days, riding loops, putting in 22 miles on Sunday and 23 on Monday, and wandering down some new roads too. My energy level still isn't supporting expanding my rides into longer rides and I know I have to accept that for now. I'll keep riding every weekend though...
It's funny, people who don't bicycle think my little 22 to 28 miles rides are long. When I was chatting with my neighbors earlier today they were very surprised when I told them that at this time in a normal season I can happily ride 50 to 75 miles without even thinking about it. They were somewhat shocked and told me that they consider my current ride length to be long. I know I'm doing what I can physically handle right now, but I still think in the overall scheme of things that my current rides are pretty short!
Sunday, August 29, 2004
Decision time
...for my next tour
My decision is made, and the pressure is off. I gave myself until the end of August to decide whether my planned October trip to Hawaii would be a bike tour as planned, or would be something else. I've really been fighting this one, because I'd like to do it as a bike tour - of course! But reality has finally jumped in. I'm still going to Hawaii, but it's going to be a trip without a bike. I thought about three different options.
The first option was to do the trip as planned, as a solo bike tour around the island. Looking back at distances from last year's tour, this includes three days that I think would be a big challenge to me in my current condition - two days between 50 and 60 miles that have a few long uphills in them, and one day of 40+ miles that is all uphill. At this point in my recovery, I'm a long way from a 50 to 60 mile day, to say nothing of the hills. And while two months is definitely enough time to prepare for a trip like this one when I'm in what I'd consider to be normal physical state, it just doesn't feel like reality to me right now. I wasn't too concerned about the extra weight on the bike from carrying my gear since I'd already decided to do this trip with just 2 panniers (the smaller front panniers carried on the rear rack) and a minimum of gear.
The second option was to take my bike but to find some compromise to riding around the island on my own. That could be to use the bike for day rides, or to link up with a tour operator so I'd have the option of taking a lift if I needed one along with the side benefit of having someone carry my gear for me. Somehow neither of these options really appealed to me. Day rides would likely end up being out and back rides, and while that definitely counts as riding, it just doesn't appeal to me as a substitute for a tour. And touring with a group isn't where my head it at either right now. So while I did take a little time to consider these compromise options, my decision was to change the trip entirely.
My decision? To take the third option, which is to go to Hawaii without my bike. I don't think anyone will disagree that the Big Island of Hawaii is a wonderful destination, even without a bicycle. I'll still be wandering around the island and I can't imagine taking a vacation that doesn't involve some physical activity. I'm sure I'll do some hiking in Hawaii Volcanoes National Park and in some other spots around the island. Maybe I'll spend a little rest time on a beach. Maybe I'll do something different like find a place to rent a kayak and do a little paddling in the ocean. Maybe...
Back to biking
OK, this journal is really about biking, and I haven't forgotten that. This week was another week of biking only on the weekend. I'm still managing to walk every day that I don't have the time or energy to ride my bike, but I still haven't figured out how to get enough sleep and get myself up early enough to ride my bike before work. And the daylight hours are noticeably starting to shrink as the end of the summer approaches.
Saturday, August 28th: Hot, humid, no energy...
When I headed to sleep Friday night I was planning (hoping) to wander over to the coast with my bike on Saturday morning. I was going to enlist the aid of my fossil-fuel powered vehicle to get my bike to the edge of New Hampshire for an out and back ride. Those plans were apparently just not meant to be. Friday night was a bad sleep night for me. I managed to sleep for two and a half hours, wake for 2 hours, and then sleep for another two and a half hours. Ouch! Five hours of sleep just doesn't support an active lifestyle. I've been having sleep problems, but Saturday was the first day I actually tried to do any physical activity after one of those exceptionally bad sleep nights. And I have to tell you, it really wasn't a good idea. I headed out on my bike in the mid-morning, and I think I knew right away that it wasn't going to be a good riding day. If I'd been smart, I would have just turned around and headed back home. But the Denise who wants to be all better and back to normal was apparently in charge, so I kept on biking. I managed 18 very slow miles on the bike. Next time I feel like that, hopefully I'll know better and will turn around much sooner.
It wasn't just that it was a hot, humid day, and it wasn't just biking. I felt like I was moving at half-speed when I went for a walk after dinner - but at least I was smart enough to cut the walk short!
Sunday, August 29th: What a difference a day makes!
And what a difference a good night's sleep makes! I have to admit, I cheated and took a sleeping pill last night after I was having trouble falling asleep yet again. I had headed to bed early, and after all it's the weekend, so I knew that if the pill kept me sleeping past my normal waking hour it really didn't matter.
Sunday dawned hot and humid again, but I was much closer to my current version of normal. Riding was again a much more reasonable and enjoyable activity. I decided to ride close to home, just in case I had guessed wrong and the heat yesterday had something to do with my lack of energy. It didn't, and my 26-mile loop was a good ride.
Funny, I was stopped along the side of the road in Harold Parker State forest - it was a good time for a snack - when two mountain bikers came out of the woods. They crossed the road to get to the continuation of the trail they were on, and I wondered what they were going to do to cross the large log that blocked their way. One of the riders did what I would have needed to do - and that is to go around the end of the log. The other attempted to ride over it, and only made it half way. That is, the front wheel cleared the log, but he apparently didn't have the momentum or the jump-ability to get the rear wheel over too. He stopped and put his foot down - no fall today!
I still haven't been successful at managing a ride longer than the mid-20 mile range. I know it will come, and I know that I eventually will return to my normal self. And now that I've taken the pressure off of myself by accepting that my next tour won't be until 2005, it's a little easier for me to accept my current mileage limitation.
My decision is made, and the pressure is off. I gave myself until the end of August to decide whether my planned October trip to Hawaii would be a bike tour as planned, or would be something else. I've really been fighting this one, because I'd like to do it as a bike tour - of course! But reality has finally jumped in. I'm still going to Hawaii, but it's going to be a trip without a bike. I thought about three different options.
The first option was to do the trip as planned, as a solo bike tour around the island. Looking back at distances from last year's tour, this includes three days that I think would be a big challenge to me in my current condition - two days between 50 and 60 miles that have a few long uphills in them, and one day of 40+ miles that is all uphill. At this point in my recovery, I'm a long way from a 50 to 60 mile day, to say nothing of the hills. And while two months is definitely enough time to prepare for a trip like this one when I'm in what I'd consider to be normal physical state, it just doesn't feel like reality to me right now. I wasn't too concerned about the extra weight on the bike from carrying my gear since I'd already decided to do this trip with just 2 panniers (the smaller front panniers carried on the rear rack) and a minimum of gear.
The second option was to take my bike but to find some compromise to riding around the island on my own. That could be to use the bike for day rides, or to link up with a tour operator so I'd have the option of taking a lift if I needed one along with the side benefit of having someone carry my gear for me. Somehow neither of these options really appealed to me. Day rides would likely end up being out and back rides, and while that definitely counts as riding, it just doesn't appeal to me as a substitute for a tour. And touring with a group isn't where my head it at either right now. So while I did take a little time to consider these compromise options, my decision was to change the trip entirely.
My decision? To take the third option, which is to go to Hawaii without my bike. I don't think anyone will disagree that the Big Island of Hawaii is a wonderful destination, even without a bicycle. I'll still be wandering around the island and I can't imagine taking a vacation that doesn't involve some physical activity. I'm sure I'll do some hiking in Hawaii Volcanoes National Park and in some other spots around the island. Maybe I'll spend a little rest time on a beach. Maybe I'll do something different like find a place to rent a kayak and do a little paddling in the ocean. Maybe...
Back to biking
OK, this journal is really about biking, and I haven't forgotten that. This week was another week of biking only on the weekend. I'm still managing to walk every day that I don't have the time or energy to ride my bike, but I still haven't figured out how to get enough sleep and get myself up early enough to ride my bike before work. And the daylight hours are noticeably starting to shrink as the end of the summer approaches.
Saturday, August 28th: Hot, humid, no energy...
When I headed to sleep Friday night I was planning (hoping) to wander over to the coast with my bike on Saturday morning. I was going to enlist the aid of my fossil-fuel powered vehicle to get my bike to the edge of New Hampshire for an out and back ride. Those plans were apparently just not meant to be. Friday night was a bad sleep night for me. I managed to sleep for two and a half hours, wake for 2 hours, and then sleep for another two and a half hours. Ouch! Five hours of sleep just doesn't support an active lifestyle. I've been having sleep problems, but Saturday was the first day I actually tried to do any physical activity after one of those exceptionally bad sleep nights. And I have to tell you, it really wasn't a good idea. I headed out on my bike in the mid-morning, and I think I knew right away that it wasn't going to be a good riding day. If I'd been smart, I would have just turned around and headed back home. But the Denise who wants to be all better and back to normal was apparently in charge, so I kept on biking. I managed 18 very slow miles on the bike. Next time I feel like that, hopefully I'll know better and will turn around much sooner.
It wasn't just that it was a hot, humid day, and it wasn't just biking. I felt like I was moving at half-speed when I went for a walk after dinner - but at least I was smart enough to cut the walk short!
Sunday, August 29th: What a difference a day makes!
And what a difference a good night's sleep makes! I have to admit, I cheated and took a sleeping pill last night after I was having trouble falling asleep yet again. I had headed to bed early, and after all it's the weekend, so I knew that if the pill kept me sleeping past my normal waking hour it really didn't matter.
Sunday dawned hot and humid again, but I was much closer to my current version of normal. Riding was again a much more reasonable and enjoyable activity. I decided to ride close to home, just in case I had guessed wrong and the heat yesterday had something to do with my lack of energy. It didn't, and my 26-mile loop was a good ride.
Funny, I was stopped along the side of the road in Harold Parker State forest - it was a good time for a snack - when two mountain bikers came out of the woods. They crossed the road to get to the continuation of the trail they were on, and I wondered what they were going to do to cross the large log that blocked their way. One of the riders did what I would have needed to do - and that is to go around the end of the log. The other attempted to ride over it, and only made it half way. That is, the front wheel cleared the log, but he apparently didn't have the momentum or the jump-ability to get the rear wheel over too. He stopped and put his foot down - no fall today!
I still haven't been successful at managing a ride longer than the mid-20 mile range. I know it will come, and I know that I eventually will return to my normal self. And now that I've taken the pressure off of myself by accepting that my next tour won't be until 2005, it's a little easier for me to accept my current mileage limitation.
Sunday, August 22, 2004
A quiet week, a storm on Saturday
...and a beautiful riding day dawns on Sunday
No weekday riding again this week... I have to do something about that situation soon! There's still enough light in the evenings to get in a short ride, but by the end of the work day my energy level doesn't match what I'd need for a ride. For now, it's going to have to be in the morning - and I haven't mastered (or should I say re-mastered?) the early to bed, early to rise times that I'll need to pull this off. Soon.
It was a slightly improved sleep week in that I only had one night with that unacceptable 5 hours of sleep instead of the two nights I had last week. Unfortunately, that one short night was followed by a couple of days of dizziness. A small step forward in the sleep department, and a step backwards in getting rid of those dizzy days. I've started tracking both things to see if I can find a pattern, but nothing is jumping out at me so far. I guess this is just the post-accident version of Denise that the real version is trying to erase!
Saturday, August 21st was a good day for hiding indoors
The weather forecast for Saturday was for torrential rain, so I woke up thinking it would be a day without cycling. A downpour woke me at 4:30 AM - just in time to retrieve the still dry newspaper from its (plastic-wrapped) spot in the middle of the rain. I luckily fell asleep again, and awoke to a very wet day. In the afternoon, the sky grew lighter, and the pavement started drying out. I thought it was worth trying a short ride. I headed out on my bike, but I didn't get too far before the thunder started to sound pretty serious and it started to rain. I thought about continuing in the light rain, but given the increased sound of thunder I turned around and headed for home. I put the bike in its usual shelter - in the dry garage - and changed into walking togs. I headed out again - on foot this time - and luckily I was carrying an umbrella. After I'd been out only 10 minutes, an incredible downpour started. Even with the umbrella I was soaked when I got home. I'm very glad that I wasn't out on my bike in that downpour since the rain was coming down so hard that it was very hard to see, and the wind was definitely making its presence known too.
And Sunday, August 22nd was an excellent day for wandering on a bike
I'd have to say that Sunday's weather was perfect for cycling. I woke to a clear sky, little wind, and a favorite temperature range. It was probably in the high 60s or low 70s (Fahrenheit) when I was out on my bike - which I consider to be pretty close to perfect. I thought about driving to the coast so I could ride along the ocean, but laziness intervened. I couldn't convince myself that I wanted to drive 45 minutes to an hour to ride a short distance and then have to drive back again. I'll need beat that lazy feeling soon because I think I'm getting close to needing a change of scenery.
I wandered on roads close to home again, managing a 27 mile ride. I started out on one of my reverse loops - riding a loop I've done often, but in the reverse direction. Switching direction sometimes even makes the ride feel like a new one. It didn't today, so at one point I wandered off down a road I've never ridden before. It was amazing because it switched very quickly from a quiet wooded neighborhood to just woods. As I continued down the road I started to wonder if I was going to need to turn around to find my way home again since as usual I was wandering without a map. I kept going, and eventually met up with a road that I recognized. A nice diversion, and it turned out to be a road I will definitely follow again in the future.
The chipmunks managed to amuse me as I wandered on my bike. They managed to run across the road to find new trees to climb as I passed by. I definitely prefer the chipmunks "run and hide" behavior to the squirrels who seem to like to play suicide games with my bike. Luckily - for my sanity - only the chipmunks were out on Sunday!
Hey - it's only August! This tree seems to have its autumn clock turned on a bit too early. Beautiful, but I'm not ready for summer to be over!
The view to the side of the road. That mystery road was definitely a good choice.
And more beautiful wildflowers along the side of the road. Oh, you think these are weeds and they aggravate allergies? Yes, but I still think they are beautiful!
No weekday riding again this week... I have to do something about that situation soon! There's still enough light in the evenings to get in a short ride, but by the end of the work day my energy level doesn't match what I'd need for a ride. For now, it's going to have to be in the morning - and I haven't mastered (or should I say re-mastered?) the early to bed, early to rise times that I'll need to pull this off. Soon.
It was a slightly improved sleep week in that I only had one night with that unacceptable 5 hours of sleep instead of the two nights I had last week. Unfortunately, that one short night was followed by a couple of days of dizziness. A small step forward in the sleep department, and a step backwards in getting rid of those dizzy days. I've started tracking both things to see if I can find a pattern, but nothing is jumping out at me so far. I guess this is just the post-accident version of Denise that the real version is trying to erase!
Saturday, August 21st was a good day for hiding indoors
The weather forecast for Saturday was for torrential rain, so I woke up thinking it would be a day without cycling. A downpour woke me at 4:30 AM - just in time to retrieve the still dry newspaper from its (plastic-wrapped) spot in the middle of the rain. I luckily fell asleep again, and awoke to a very wet day. In the afternoon, the sky grew lighter, and the pavement started drying out. I thought it was worth trying a short ride. I headed out on my bike, but I didn't get too far before the thunder started to sound pretty serious and it started to rain. I thought about continuing in the light rain, but given the increased sound of thunder I turned around and headed for home. I put the bike in its usual shelter - in the dry garage - and changed into walking togs. I headed out again - on foot this time - and luckily I was carrying an umbrella. After I'd been out only 10 minutes, an incredible downpour started. Even with the umbrella I was soaked when I got home. I'm very glad that I wasn't out on my bike in that downpour since the rain was coming down so hard that it was very hard to see, and the wind was definitely making its presence known too.
And Sunday, August 22nd was an excellent day for wandering on a bike
I'd have to say that Sunday's weather was perfect for cycling. I woke to a clear sky, little wind, and a favorite temperature range. It was probably in the high 60s or low 70s (Fahrenheit) when I was out on my bike - which I consider to be pretty close to perfect. I thought about driving to the coast so I could ride along the ocean, but laziness intervened. I couldn't convince myself that I wanted to drive 45 minutes to an hour to ride a short distance and then have to drive back again. I'll need beat that lazy feeling soon because I think I'm getting close to needing a change of scenery.
I wandered on roads close to home again, managing a 27 mile ride. I started out on one of my reverse loops - riding a loop I've done often, but in the reverse direction. Switching direction sometimes even makes the ride feel like a new one. It didn't today, so at one point I wandered off down a road I've never ridden before. It was amazing because it switched very quickly from a quiet wooded neighborhood to just woods. As I continued down the road I started to wonder if I was going to need to turn around to find my way home again since as usual I was wandering without a map. I kept going, and eventually met up with a road that I recognized. A nice diversion, and it turned out to be a road I will definitely follow again in the future.
The chipmunks managed to amuse me as I wandered on my bike. They managed to run across the road to find new trees to climb as I passed by. I definitely prefer the chipmunks "run and hide" behavior to the squirrels who seem to like to play suicide games with my bike. Luckily - for my sanity - only the chipmunks were out on Sunday!
Hey - it's only August! This tree seems to have its autumn clock turned on a bit too early. Beautiful, but I'm not ready for summer to be over!
The view to the side of the road. That mystery road was definitely a good choice.
And more beautiful wildflowers along the side of the road. Oh, you think these are weeds and they aggravate allergies? Yes, but I still think they are beautiful!
Sunday, August 15, 2004
A not enough sleep week
...with a beautiful but short Saturday ride, and a Sunday storm day
I started this week by thinking that I'd try to manage one or two bike rides during the week in addition to my normal weekend rides. The rides would need to be before work, and since I'm already heading in to work later than normal, I thought I'd need to get up earlier in order to keep about the same start time at the office. I set the alarm for 6 o'clock Tuesday morning, hoping to get a ride in before work. Unfortunately it turned out that I still needed that extra hour and a half for sleeping, so the morning rides just didn't happen this week. I am still walking on the days when I don't ride - 25 to 30 minutes before work, 15 to 20 minutes at lunchtime, and 30 to 40 minutes after dinner. At least that's some exercise even though it's not my preferred cycling. I guess I was dreaming, thinking that I was ready to add some weekday rides. Sometimes I think I'm accepting my slow recovery, but more often than not I know that I'm not. Yes, I'm doing well all things considered - but I want to be doing more now. OK, I know it's still going to be a slow trip back! You'd think I'd be used to this by now, wouldn't you?
It was another week with some not enough sleep nights. Tuesday and Thursday nights were both 5-hour sleep nights, definitely not enough for my body which still seems to want a minimum of 9 hours - even though 8 is a lot more normal for me and much more achievable right now. Wednesday? Well, I gave up much faster this week and took a sleeping pill. So I had two bad sleep nights sandwiched around a good sleep night. Saturday night was one more example of what I would consider a non-optimal night of sleep. I fell asleep at 10:30 but woke up at 12:30 and was awake for the next two hours before I managed to get another 5 hours of sleep, 7 1/2 hours total. I wonder how I can get my body to stop this nonsense; it's certainly not listening to me!
Saturday, August 14th was a beautiful day for biking
Saturday was a 20-something mile day (26 actually), and I have to say it was a beautiful day for cycling. I'm amazed that I'm able to do so many relatively short rides that are not repeating the same territory on each ride. Although I usually head out and return on the same roads, the bulk of each ride wanders different roads. Not every time of course, but at least I'm not repeating the same route each time I go out. I saw quite a few other cyclists on Saturday, many of whom were on a club ride that happened to coincide with part of my route. At one point a woman came up behind me and let me know that I was about to miss a turn. I laughed and told her that I was out on my own, not out with a group, and that I was planning to go straight - and it turned out that she was on her own too. Funny...
The sun was a part of my ride; it didn't disappear until later in the day, a signal of the storm to come.
Yet another quiet road. And yes, this is normal on many of the back roads around here.
Beautiful wildflowers along the edge of the North Andover town water supply
And Sunday unfortunately was a non-biking day
I didn't plan it that way although it turned out to be one of my dizzy days, so maybe I should be glad the weather didn't cooperate and produce a good riding day. Hurricane Charley managed to turn into a tropical storm before it hit New England, but it still brought a very gray, cool day along with light rain for most of the day. The forecast was for the storm to pass through with clearing in the afternoon, but that didn't happen. I took a walk in the rain this morning but my after-dinner walk was under still gray but dry skies.
I started this week by thinking that I'd try to manage one or two bike rides during the week in addition to my normal weekend rides. The rides would need to be before work, and since I'm already heading in to work later than normal, I thought I'd need to get up earlier in order to keep about the same start time at the office. I set the alarm for 6 o'clock Tuesday morning, hoping to get a ride in before work. Unfortunately it turned out that I still needed that extra hour and a half for sleeping, so the morning rides just didn't happen this week. I am still walking on the days when I don't ride - 25 to 30 minutes before work, 15 to 20 minutes at lunchtime, and 30 to 40 minutes after dinner. At least that's some exercise even though it's not my preferred cycling. I guess I was dreaming, thinking that I was ready to add some weekday rides. Sometimes I think I'm accepting my slow recovery, but more often than not I know that I'm not. Yes, I'm doing well all things considered - but I want to be doing more now. OK, I know it's still going to be a slow trip back! You'd think I'd be used to this by now, wouldn't you?
It was another week with some not enough sleep nights. Tuesday and Thursday nights were both 5-hour sleep nights, definitely not enough for my body which still seems to want a minimum of 9 hours - even though 8 is a lot more normal for me and much more achievable right now. Wednesday? Well, I gave up much faster this week and took a sleeping pill. So I had two bad sleep nights sandwiched around a good sleep night. Saturday night was one more example of what I would consider a non-optimal night of sleep. I fell asleep at 10:30 but woke up at 12:30 and was awake for the next two hours before I managed to get another 5 hours of sleep, 7 1/2 hours total. I wonder how I can get my body to stop this nonsense; it's certainly not listening to me!
Saturday, August 14th was a beautiful day for biking
Saturday was a 20-something mile day (26 actually), and I have to say it was a beautiful day for cycling. I'm amazed that I'm able to do so many relatively short rides that are not repeating the same territory on each ride. Although I usually head out and return on the same roads, the bulk of each ride wanders different roads. Not every time of course, but at least I'm not repeating the same route each time I go out. I saw quite a few other cyclists on Saturday, many of whom were on a club ride that happened to coincide with part of my route. At one point a woman came up behind me and let me know that I was about to miss a turn. I laughed and told her that I was out on my own, not out with a group, and that I was planning to go straight - and it turned out that she was on her own too. Funny...
The sun was a part of my ride; it didn't disappear until later in the day, a signal of the storm to come.
Yet another quiet road. And yes, this is normal on many of the back roads around here.
Beautiful wildflowers along the edge of the North Andover town water supply
And Sunday unfortunately was a non-biking day
I didn't plan it that way although it turned out to be one of my dizzy days, so maybe I should be glad the weather didn't cooperate and produce a good riding day. Hurricane Charley managed to turn into a tropical storm before it hit New England, but it still brought a very gray, cool day along with light rain for most of the day. The forecast was for the storm to pass through with clearing in the afternoon, but that didn't happen. I took a walk in the rain this morning but my after-dinner walk was under still gray but dry skies.
Sunday, August 8, 2004
A tired week ends with...
Glorious weekend weather, and two good biking days
Wow! All I can say about the work week is that it was combination of a very interesting week at work and a week of not enough sleep. But when it was finished, I'd managed to fit in two nice biking days. The biking is still not the mileage that I'd like, but I have to admit I felt much better at the end of the rides than I have in past weeks.
On the work front... (For those that don't know me, I work for a small (and young) software company.) Well, this week a new version of our product with major new functionality was released internally for testing. I have to admit that there were several times that I wondered if after effects of that knock on my head really existed and were getting in my way. I realized quickly that it wasn't me - my colleagues who didn't fall off of their bikes (hey - many of them don't even ride bikes!) had the same reaction as I did as we first encountered the new and very cool procduct features. I have to say that we all laughed a lot as we embarked on learning and testing the new functionality.
Not enough sleep? Well, my sleep problem started Monday night, when I couldn't fall asleep until 2AM. That meant I started out with only five hours of sleep, when at this point I think I need a solid nine hours. That five hour night was followed by two seven hour nights, at which point I reached out for the crutch of a sleeping pill. When the weekend finally rolled around I'd managed two nights of that magic number of nine hours of sleep, so my body was ready to hit the road on my bike. That's a really good thing because the weekend brought glorious weather for biking. Saturday dawned partly cloudy and relatively cool for August with temperatures in the high 60's and low 70's. Sunday? Well, it was sunny and started out with temperatures in the low 50's, warming into the 70's. By my way of thinking, that's perfect biking weather.
I have to admit that my slow pace and lack of capacity for long rides have both been frustrating me. I'm continuing to ride from home rather than drive somewhere to start my ride, which would allow me to see something different for a change. Riding from home means that if I'm tired at the end of the ride I don't have to deal with driving. Soon I'm going to need to use my car to give me a boost to a different place to ride. For this weekend, I decided to take my camera with me to give myself a different focus. I still rode near home, but with the camera I was more on the lookout for interesting sights.
Biking! 27 miles on Saturday, August 7th
I headed out on my road bike - the bike that I was riding on May 20th - for the first time since my crash. I've been riding my touring bikes, and I have to admit I was wondering if my slow speed had anything to do with the slightly fatter tires on the touring bikes. I really knew the answer before I headed out today - of course the two things are unrelated. My speed today remained where it has been since I resumed riding - at about 12 and a half miles per hour. That speed feels good when I'm touring and hauling gear with me, but somehow when I'm just wandering around with an unloaded bike it feels slow. No matter, at least I'm riding! Of course I've never been a fast rider, but my previous normal pace was usually between 14 and 15 miles per hour. I was right about taking the camera with me and stopping to take pictures because for some reason I didn't mind the slower pace. Then again, maybe I'm just getting used to it!
It was a good riding day, and I saw a lot of other people out on the road on bicycles. I wanted to scream at the folks I saw who weren't wearing helmets but I stayed in my own world and just kept pedaling. Most of the cyclists I saw were wearing helmets, but the ones who bothered me the most were the folks riding with children where none of the group had a helmet on their heads. And the other people that really make me wonder are the family groups where the children are wearing helmets but the adults are bare-headed. That just makes no sense at all.
Hmmm... due to the wonder of digital photography (and sunglasses!), the red areas that still remain on my face are hidden. A wonderful day to be wandering on a bike - relatively cool (in the low 70s), more sun than clouds but enough clouds to make the sky look interesting.
A quiet road not too far from home
These flowers are everywhere - love the color!
One of the ponds in Harold Parker State Forest.
Biking again! 24 miles on Sunday, August 8th
It was yet another beautiful day for biking. My body said 24 miles was enough today even though my head kept telling me to keep on going. But I behaved - it was time to stop for the day. Having the camera with me helped though since it gave me an excuse to stop more often.
Yesterday I saw a lot of other cyclists on the road, both singles, and groups. It's funny, but today I only saw one other person on a bike. Where do you suppose everyone is hiding? I suppose one reason is that I headed through the center of Lawrence on part of my ride, and I don't think that's a prime biking location. But I was on neighborhood and back roads of Andover for most of my ride, so I don't have a clue where my fellow cyclists were.
It was a funny dog day... I must have headed out this morning at a prime dog-walking time because as I was riding through the neighborhood behind my condo I saw a lot of four-legged friends wandering with their owners. And yes, the dogs were all on leashes, so it wasn't a bad dog-bicycle day. One dog really made me smile. It was a small Scottish Terrier, enjoying his walk by riding in his owner's arms! It really made me smile because Brandy - the miniature dachshund who owns my parents (oh, it's the other way around?) does that to my mother. He starts out walking, but there are those times that he gets a ride back home!
I had fun watching the chipmunks on my ride today. This year seems to be the year of the chipmunks and squirrels. I have to say I prefer the chipmunks because they don't seem to pull the nonsense that the squirrels do. A couple of rides ago, a squirrel paused on its journey across the road when it saw me on my bike. It then ran in front of the bike - then turned around and did it again. My overactive imagination tells me that hitting a squirrel with my bike would not be a good thing, and that I'd be likely to wind up on the ground. Hey you crazy squirrels, let's not do that. Why don't you take a sanity lesson from the chipmunks?
The temperature was absolutely perfect today - it was in the high 60s when my bike and I ventured out, and although I think it increased while I was out it was probably only by a couple of degrees. But it was very windy. At first when I was slowly riding into the wind I thought my slowness was self-imposed but as soon as I turned I was riding at more of my (current) normal speed. I'd happily take more days like this one!
Overall, it was a good riding weekend. My rides are still shorter than I'd like, but they were good rides.
Oh, and that dizziness? Well, it's still there, but at least I didn't have any totally bad days this week. I still can't find a trigger for it. In fact, after my ride on Sunday I realized that I hadn't felt it at all that day. Unfortunately about a half hour later I was dizzy again, and that feeling pretty much stayed with me for the rest of the day. At least it didn't start earlier so I was able to get my ride in!
Great clock tower on an old mill building in Lawrence
The emergency room at Lawrence General Hospital - the start of my hospital tour back on May 20th. (Sorry, I couldn't resist...)
Along the canal --- still in Lawrence
Wow! All I can say about the work week is that it was combination of a very interesting week at work and a week of not enough sleep. But when it was finished, I'd managed to fit in two nice biking days. The biking is still not the mileage that I'd like, but I have to admit I felt much better at the end of the rides than I have in past weeks.
On the work front... (For those that don't know me, I work for a small (and young) software company.) Well, this week a new version of our product with major new functionality was released internally for testing. I have to admit that there were several times that I wondered if after effects of that knock on my head really existed and were getting in my way. I realized quickly that it wasn't me - my colleagues who didn't fall off of their bikes (hey - many of them don't even ride bikes!) had the same reaction as I did as we first encountered the new and very cool procduct features. I have to say that we all laughed a lot as we embarked on learning and testing the new functionality.
Not enough sleep? Well, my sleep problem started Monday night, when I couldn't fall asleep until 2AM. That meant I started out with only five hours of sleep, when at this point I think I need a solid nine hours. That five hour night was followed by two seven hour nights, at which point I reached out for the crutch of a sleeping pill. When the weekend finally rolled around I'd managed two nights of that magic number of nine hours of sleep, so my body was ready to hit the road on my bike. That's a really good thing because the weekend brought glorious weather for biking. Saturday dawned partly cloudy and relatively cool for August with temperatures in the high 60's and low 70's. Sunday? Well, it was sunny and started out with temperatures in the low 50's, warming into the 70's. By my way of thinking, that's perfect biking weather.
I have to admit that my slow pace and lack of capacity for long rides have both been frustrating me. I'm continuing to ride from home rather than drive somewhere to start my ride, which would allow me to see something different for a change. Riding from home means that if I'm tired at the end of the ride I don't have to deal with driving. Soon I'm going to need to use my car to give me a boost to a different place to ride. For this weekend, I decided to take my camera with me to give myself a different focus. I still rode near home, but with the camera I was more on the lookout for interesting sights.
Biking! 27 miles on Saturday, August 7th
I headed out on my road bike - the bike that I was riding on May 20th - for the first time since my crash. I've been riding my touring bikes, and I have to admit I was wondering if my slow speed had anything to do with the slightly fatter tires on the touring bikes. I really knew the answer before I headed out today - of course the two things are unrelated. My speed today remained where it has been since I resumed riding - at about 12 and a half miles per hour. That speed feels good when I'm touring and hauling gear with me, but somehow when I'm just wandering around with an unloaded bike it feels slow. No matter, at least I'm riding! Of course I've never been a fast rider, but my previous normal pace was usually between 14 and 15 miles per hour. I was right about taking the camera with me and stopping to take pictures because for some reason I didn't mind the slower pace. Then again, maybe I'm just getting used to it!
It was a good riding day, and I saw a lot of other people out on the road on bicycles. I wanted to scream at the folks I saw who weren't wearing helmets but I stayed in my own world and just kept pedaling. Most of the cyclists I saw were wearing helmets, but the ones who bothered me the most were the folks riding with children where none of the group had a helmet on their heads. And the other people that really make me wonder are the family groups where the children are wearing helmets but the adults are bare-headed. That just makes no sense at all.
Hmmm... due to the wonder of digital photography (and sunglasses!), the red areas that still remain on my face are hidden. A wonderful day to be wandering on a bike - relatively cool (in the low 70s), more sun than clouds but enough clouds to make the sky look interesting.
A quiet road not too far from home
These flowers are everywhere - love the color!
One of the ponds in Harold Parker State Forest.
Biking again! 24 miles on Sunday, August 8th
It was yet another beautiful day for biking. My body said 24 miles was enough today even though my head kept telling me to keep on going. But I behaved - it was time to stop for the day. Having the camera with me helped though since it gave me an excuse to stop more often.
Yesterday I saw a lot of other cyclists on the road, both singles, and groups. It's funny, but today I only saw one other person on a bike. Where do you suppose everyone is hiding? I suppose one reason is that I headed through the center of Lawrence on part of my ride, and I don't think that's a prime biking location. But I was on neighborhood and back roads of Andover for most of my ride, so I don't have a clue where my fellow cyclists were.
It was a funny dog day... I must have headed out this morning at a prime dog-walking time because as I was riding through the neighborhood behind my condo I saw a lot of four-legged friends wandering with their owners. And yes, the dogs were all on leashes, so it wasn't a bad dog-bicycle day. One dog really made me smile. It was a small Scottish Terrier, enjoying his walk by riding in his owner's arms! It really made me smile because Brandy - the miniature dachshund who owns my parents (oh, it's the other way around?) does that to my mother. He starts out walking, but there are those times that he gets a ride back home!
I had fun watching the chipmunks on my ride today. This year seems to be the year of the chipmunks and squirrels. I have to say I prefer the chipmunks because they don't seem to pull the nonsense that the squirrels do. A couple of rides ago, a squirrel paused on its journey across the road when it saw me on my bike. It then ran in front of the bike - then turned around and did it again. My overactive imagination tells me that hitting a squirrel with my bike would not be a good thing, and that I'd be likely to wind up on the ground. Hey you crazy squirrels, let's not do that. Why don't you take a sanity lesson from the chipmunks?
The temperature was absolutely perfect today - it was in the high 60s when my bike and I ventured out, and although I think it increased while I was out it was probably only by a couple of degrees. But it was very windy. At first when I was slowly riding into the wind I thought my slowness was self-imposed but as soon as I turned I was riding at more of my (current) normal speed. I'd happily take more days like this one!
Overall, it was a good riding weekend. My rides are still shorter than I'd like, but they were good rides.
Oh, and that dizziness? Well, it's still there, but at least I didn't have any totally bad days this week. I still can't find a trigger for it. In fact, after my ride on Sunday I realized that I hadn't felt it at all that day. Unfortunately about a half hour later I was dizzy again, and that feeling pretty much stayed with me for the rest of the day. At least it didn't start earlier so I was able to get my ride in!
Great clock tower on an old mill building in Lawrence
The emergency room at Lawrence General Hospital - the start of my hospital tour back on May 20th. (Sorry, I couldn't resist...)
Along the canal --- still in Lawrence
Monday, August 2, 2004
A hot & windy weekend
...made just for riding!
I'm still trying. I'm still riding. But maybe I'm finally accepting my slower pace and shorter rides. OK, I say I'm accepting it, but somehow I forget that acceptance in my next breath!
I rode 22 miles on Saturday, and 23 miles on Sunday. I'm still not making progress on increasing my mileage - but at least I'm riding! I've started doing a couple of overlapping loops - just so I know I'm not too far from home if I get to a point where I need to stop. It's an interesting exercise... I'm riding in areas that I typically ride in early season - at this time of the season I'm usually doing rides that are much more far-reaching. To keep from getting bored, I'm doing pieces of rides in the opposite direction than I usually ride them (tell me, how is it that habit keeps me from reversing direction more often?), and I'm wandering down streets I've never ridden before. As in - the road I was planning to take is under construction - I wonder where this other road ends up. So far my mystery roads have not taken me too far off my desired path, and I've discovered some nice riding roads in the process.
It feels great to be out on a bike - now all I have to do is figure out how to get back to the shape I was in before. And the funny thing is, I think I have to say it's not under my total control. That is, I believe it's under the control of my brain, but not any part that I can influence!
I realized today that there is one pain that seems to be gone, although it won't surprise me too much if it pops back up again when I start riding longer distances. Once that broken pelvic bone healed, I was still left with some pain, especially if I overdid the walking. I was warned that biking (or should I say sitting on a bike seat) would probably bother me - but it never did. And hopefully I won't jinx myself by saying that the pain has disappeared. Now if only my energy levels and abilty to bike long distances would return...
I'm still trying. I'm still riding. But maybe I'm finally accepting my slower pace and shorter rides. OK, I say I'm accepting it, but somehow I forget that acceptance in my next breath!
I rode 22 miles on Saturday, and 23 miles on Sunday. I'm still not making progress on increasing my mileage - but at least I'm riding! I've started doing a couple of overlapping loops - just so I know I'm not too far from home if I get to a point where I need to stop. It's an interesting exercise... I'm riding in areas that I typically ride in early season - at this time of the season I'm usually doing rides that are much more far-reaching. To keep from getting bored, I'm doing pieces of rides in the opposite direction than I usually ride them (tell me, how is it that habit keeps me from reversing direction more often?), and I'm wandering down streets I've never ridden before. As in - the road I was planning to take is under construction - I wonder where this other road ends up. So far my mystery roads have not taken me too far off my desired path, and I've discovered some nice riding roads in the process.
It feels great to be out on a bike - now all I have to do is figure out how to get back to the shape I was in before. And the funny thing is, I think I have to say it's not under my total control. That is, I believe it's under the control of my brain, but not any part that I can influence!
I realized today that there is one pain that seems to be gone, although it won't surprise me too much if it pops back up again when I start riding longer distances. Once that broken pelvic bone healed, I was still left with some pain, especially if I overdid the walking. I was warned that biking (or should I say sitting on a bike seat) would probably bother me - but it never did. And hopefully I won't jinx myself by saying that the pain has disappeared. Now if only my energy levels and abilty to bike long distances would return...
Wednesday, July 28, 2004
A bit of a reality check
Does slow progress = the ability to head out with my bike for a late October tour?
Progress on the biking front seems to be at a standstill. Right now I seem to be stuck at rides between 20 and 25 miles, and I've pretty much been able to ride only on the weekends. So what does that mean for my planned last week of October trip to Hawaii? I have to admit, at this point I really don't know. When I look back on last year's trip, there are a few long riding days - two days of 55 to 60 miles that both include some signifcant stretches of uphill riding, and one day of 42 miles that is all uphill heading from sea level to the rim of the crater in Hawaii Volcanoes National Park. I'm still working toward being able to take the trip as planned - as a tour of the Big Island by bicycle. I know at this point that the trip is really a big reach, but I'm not ready to give up yet. I think I can wait until the end of August to see where I'm at then from a biking standpoint - but that's probably going to be decision time for me. If I haven't made significant progress toward increasing my biking mileage by then, I think the trip may morph into a hiking and resting trip, and I'll change my reservations accordingly. I'm still hoping...
Right now I'm trying to deal with the continued dizziness problem. I went to see an otolaryngologist to see if he could help. He's a biker too - and he told me that he thinks October is probably really pushing it and that it may be more reasonable to plan a mid-winter trip. I finally realized that I should probably keep track of those bad days... I have some dizziness every day - it's the days that I have nothing but dizziness that concern me. Having one of those in the middle of a trip would not be a good thing since on those days I try to stay away from my bike. To attempt to ride a bike while feeling dizzy doesn't sound like a good idea to me, although so far I haven't had even an occasional dizzy spell hit while I was riding. I think I said this before, but I'll ask it again - do you think that means I should spend more time on my bicycle?
To be honest, I do want to spend more time on my bicycle, but there are only a limited number hours in the day. I could use a longer day to accommodate my need for an extended number of hours of sleep along with all of the normal activities that need to be included in my waking hours. I've been working much closer to full-time, which unfortunately doesn't leave me with much time for riding during the week. I've managed to continue walking every day - split into a walk before work and a walk after dinner. While I can happily walk for a half of an hour, the same length bike ride just doesn't work for me. (Tell me, am I being too fussy?) With two shorter walks I'm managing between an hour and an hour and a half of walking on the days that I don't ride. For now my riding has been mainly limited to the weekends, but I really need to figure out how to fit in a few rides on weekdays too. After close to a full day at work, I don't have the energy for a ride after I get home. So rides during the week (fow now, anyhow) need to be in the morning before work. The problem is I that need to wake up earlier... and that doesn't seem to be possible right now. Sleep is good, and I think I need more sleep than I'm getting. I continue to have problems falling asleep, with occasional nights where I wake up in the middle of the night and am unable to fall asleep again for several hours.
Progress on the biking front seems to be at a standstill. Right now I seem to be stuck at rides between 20 and 25 miles, and I've pretty much been able to ride only on the weekends. So what does that mean for my planned last week of October trip to Hawaii? I have to admit, at this point I really don't know. When I look back on last year's trip, there are a few long riding days - two days of 55 to 60 miles that both include some signifcant stretches of uphill riding, and one day of 42 miles that is all uphill heading from sea level to the rim of the crater in Hawaii Volcanoes National Park. I'm still working toward being able to take the trip as planned - as a tour of the Big Island by bicycle. I know at this point that the trip is really a big reach, but I'm not ready to give up yet. I think I can wait until the end of August to see where I'm at then from a biking standpoint - but that's probably going to be decision time for me. If I haven't made significant progress toward increasing my biking mileage by then, I think the trip may morph into a hiking and resting trip, and I'll change my reservations accordingly. I'm still hoping...
Right now I'm trying to deal with the continued dizziness problem. I went to see an otolaryngologist to see if he could help. He's a biker too - and he told me that he thinks October is probably really pushing it and that it may be more reasonable to plan a mid-winter trip. I finally realized that I should probably keep track of those bad days... I have some dizziness every day - it's the days that I have nothing but dizziness that concern me. Having one of those in the middle of a trip would not be a good thing since on those days I try to stay away from my bike. To attempt to ride a bike while feeling dizzy doesn't sound like a good idea to me, although so far I haven't had even an occasional dizzy spell hit while I was riding. I think I said this before, but I'll ask it again - do you think that means I should spend more time on my bicycle?
To be honest, I do want to spend more time on my bicycle, but there are only a limited number hours in the day. I could use a longer day to accommodate my need for an extended number of hours of sleep along with all of the normal activities that need to be included in my waking hours. I've been working much closer to full-time, which unfortunately doesn't leave me with much time for riding during the week. I've managed to continue walking every day - split into a walk before work and a walk after dinner. While I can happily walk for a half of an hour, the same length bike ride just doesn't work for me. (Tell me, am I being too fussy?) With two shorter walks I'm managing between an hour and an hour and a half of walking on the days that I don't ride. For now my riding has been mainly limited to the weekends, but I really need to figure out how to fit in a few rides on weekdays too. After close to a full day at work, I don't have the energy for a ride after I get home. So rides during the week (fow now, anyhow) need to be in the morning before work. The problem is I that need to wake up earlier... and that doesn't seem to be possible right now. Sleep is good, and I think I need more sleep than I'm getting. I continue to have problems falling asleep, with occasional nights where I wake up in the middle of the night and am unable to fall asleep again for several hours.
Sunday, July 25, 2004
Recovery is a slow process
...even though I want it to be fast
It was another week full of walking, with no biking until the weekend. While I'd like to ride during the week too, I'm getting closer to putting in full days at work, and I haven't yet figured out how to fit both in with the extended amount of sleep that my body seems to require! What - you think my priority should be biking? You're probably right, but I am being paid to work, so I really have to balance things!
Tuesday I had an appointment with my doc Laurie to try to get to the bottom of my dizziness. I know, I know, I'm just a dizzy person. No, not really! Besides the dizziness, I talked to her about my planned biking trip to Hawaii at the end of October. She may be being conservative, but when I told her the distances and terrain of a couple of my planned days, she thought I might be over-reaching my capabilities and reminded me that it could take between 6 and 12 months for me to fully recover. Hmmm... Do I need to think about alternative vacation plans? I think I can wait to see my progress at the end of August. If I can comfortably increase my biking mileage between now and then I think (or is it that I want to think) that Hawaii will work out OK as a biking trip. If I'm stuck - as far as progress is concerned - I may need to rethink the trip. Options: to switch to a fossil-fuel-based vehicle as my transportation and to still take a bike to do day trips, or to not take a bike and turn it into a hiking and relaxing vacation. Or to push it out to a timeframe when biking will be reasonable (like the spring). If I push the biking trip into next year I think I need to find somewhere else to visit in the October timeframe. In spite of my being missing in action for a while at work - that wasn't a vacation, and I think I'll need one by then! On the dizziness front - she referred me to an otolarygologist to see if he can help, and I set up an appointment for next week. In the meantime I guess I'll just have to put up with the dizziness when it occurs, and I'll continue to hope that I don't have too many of those really bad dizzy days.
When the weekend rolled around, I was a bit short on sleep. I thought I was getting over my sleeping problems, but apparently I was wrong. Friday night, I fell asleep right away. End of problem, right? Not really - unfortunately I woke up at 2am and stayed awake until 5. Someone (something?) is trying to make me nuts! I watched the time trial in the Tour de France in morning then took a 1-hour nap since 5 hours of sleep just wasn't going to work for me. I grabbed some lunch and headed off for a ride. It was too wet to ride in the morning anyway - there was a very big rain storm overnight with rainfall ranging from 2 to 3 inches around here! It was dry by the time I wandered out on my bike though... It was a short ride day - only 17 miles - of wandering through the area near my house. I was still tired when I headed out, so I continued my current habit of doing some small loops that don't venture too far from home. That way if I feel the need to head home in the middle of my ride, I'm don't have too far to ride.
On Sunday I managed a 24-mile ride. I can't seem to break through the mid-20-mile ride length. An artificial barrier? I don't think so - it's likely related to the stage I'm at in my recovery.
It was another week full of walking, with no biking until the weekend. While I'd like to ride during the week too, I'm getting closer to putting in full days at work, and I haven't yet figured out how to fit both in with the extended amount of sleep that my body seems to require! What - you think my priority should be biking? You're probably right, but I am being paid to work, so I really have to balance things!
Tuesday I had an appointment with my doc Laurie to try to get to the bottom of my dizziness. I know, I know, I'm just a dizzy person. No, not really! Besides the dizziness, I talked to her about my planned biking trip to Hawaii at the end of October. She may be being conservative, but when I told her the distances and terrain of a couple of my planned days, she thought I might be over-reaching my capabilities and reminded me that it could take between 6 and 12 months for me to fully recover. Hmmm... Do I need to think about alternative vacation plans? I think I can wait to see my progress at the end of August. If I can comfortably increase my biking mileage between now and then I think (or is it that I want to think) that Hawaii will work out OK as a biking trip. If I'm stuck - as far as progress is concerned - I may need to rethink the trip. Options: to switch to a fossil-fuel-based vehicle as my transportation and to still take a bike to do day trips, or to not take a bike and turn it into a hiking and relaxing vacation. Or to push it out to a timeframe when biking will be reasonable (like the spring). If I push the biking trip into next year I think I need to find somewhere else to visit in the October timeframe. In spite of my being missing in action for a while at work - that wasn't a vacation, and I think I'll need one by then! On the dizziness front - she referred me to an otolarygologist to see if he can help, and I set up an appointment for next week. In the meantime I guess I'll just have to put up with the dizziness when it occurs, and I'll continue to hope that I don't have too many of those really bad dizzy days.
When the weekend rolled around, I was a bit short on sleep. I thought I was getting over my sleeping problems, but apparently I was wrong. Friday night, I fell asleep right away. End of problem, right? Not really - unfortunately I woke up at 2am and stayed awake until 5. Someone (something?) is trying to make me nuts! I watched the time trial in the Tour de France in morning then took a 1-hour nap since 5 hours of sleep just wasn't going to work for me. I grabbed some lunch and headed off for a ride. It was too wet to ride in the morning anyway - there was a very big rain storm overnight with rainfall ranging from 2 to 3 inches around here! It was dry by the time I wandered out on my bike though... It was a short ride day - only 17 miles - of wandering through the area near my house. I was still tired when I headed out, so I continued my current habit of doing some small loops that don't venture too far from home. That way if I feel the need to head home in the middle of my ride, I'm don't have too far to ride.
On Sunday I managed a 24-mile ride. I can't seem to break through the mid-20-mile ride length. An artificial barrier? I don't think so - it's likely related to the stage I'm at in my recovery.
Sunday, July 18, 2004
A step backward, a step forward
...and a weekend made for riding
I guess I knew there would be ups and downs to this recovery exercise...
It was an interesting week. Weatherwise it was very wet, which may have been a good thing because it forced me to take a break. Maybe I'm being too hard on myself.
Monday and Tuesday were pretty good days. My days were spent working, splitting the time between the office and working at home. My exercise for both days - walking. While I don't mind walking in the rain, I'm still not too excited about riding in the rain, and since I have an option because I'm not traveling, I opted for foot travel as my exercise.
Wednesday was a bad day overall. I woke up feeling extremely dizzy, and because of that feeling I didn't feel capable of driving anywhere. I did very little work, all of it from home. At one point I thought I should take a walk, so I headed outside. I didn't get too far from my front door when I realized that there was probably a fairly good chance that I was going to fall and hit the ground. Not a good idea, so I headed back inside. No walk today...
Thursday was the day of the doctor's appointment from hell. OK, OK, I know that's probably not totally fair. It was my long-awaited followup appointment with the neurosurgeon - the one that was delayed for two weeks. Mass General is a teaching hospital, and I expected the visit to be with a resident. But it turned out to be with a more junior doc than I expected. I believe that the appointment was just a means of closing out the hospital visit, but of course I was also trying to get a clue to my continued dizziness. I'd like to figure out how not to have more days like Wednesday. When I mentioned my dizziness, the doc suggested that I make an appointment with my primary care physician to have my blood pressure checked. Hmmm... Couldn't he have checked it for me? He pointed out to me that they wouldn't do surgery for light-headedness. Silly me, I thought that a neurosurgeon could help me understand a condition left by my brain injury. Of course I found it interesting that when he came back from consulting with the doc whose name was on my appointment, he told me that the condition was probably a "concussive effect" from the accident. I already knew it was related to my injuries! Needless to say, I wasn't happy with his non-answers. And I'm well aware that there might not be any answers and that this may be something I have to live with for a while. But in the meantime I did make an appointment for next week to see my own doctor, who is an absolute gem. Maybe she can give me some tips on how to deal with (improve?) my continued dizziness.
On Friday I was pretty much back to my current version of normal. I headed into the office for a part of the day, then came home and finished my work day here. It was another walking day...
Wait, isn't biking the point of this journal? Of course it is!
The weekend finally rolled around with a wonderful, sunny Saturday morning. But it's a mountain stage in the Tour de France, and somehow I've managed to get hooked on watching the race. If I was at my normal energy level - before accident, that is - I would have headed out for a long ride early this morning and I would have watched the race replay at night. Since I'm not up to a long ride at this point I chose to watch the race as it unfolded. Then it was time for some food - got to keep those calories coming in - and time to head out on my bike. I ran out of energy after only 12 miles - a first for me - so I stopped to pick up another bottle of Gatorade and an ice cream sandwich. I have a habit of taking 2 water bottles with me when I ride around home - one filled with water and one filled with Gatorade. On short rides, it seems like water should be sufficient, but that's not working for me right now. And on Saturday it appeared that I needed two bottles of Gatorade, not one! The total mileage for my Saturday ride was 24 miles - a short ride in the overall scheme of things, but a long ride at this stage of my recovery.
I had a very strange wildlife encounter on my Saturday ride. There was a groundhog sitting in the middle of the driving lane on one of the quiet back roads. I didn't even realize what it was until I was pretty close, and I was close to the right edge of the road. The groundhog was definitely in the middle of the driving lane. As I rode by it started making what I assume were groundhog noises, and also started moving towards me. I was glad I was on the bike and above the level of its teeth! The bike probably scared him, but I definitely wasn't ready for an animal encounter!
Ah, Sunday, another biking day... I managed a 22 mile ride, not spectacular from a distance standpoint - but I did say that I would work up to distance slowly. And my body seems to be forcing that issue. 22 miles was more than enough today. Bummer.
On the one hand I got two good rides in over the weekend. On the other, I really wanted to do more. I know I have to accept what I'm managing as progress, but my impatience is definitely bubbling over!
I guess I knew there would be ups and downs to this recovery exercise...
It was an interesting week. Weatherwise it was very wet, which may have been a good thing because it forced me to take a break. Maybe I'm being too hard on myself.
Monday and Tuesday were pretty good days. My days were spent working, splitting the time between the office and working at home. My exercise for both days - walking. While I don't mind walking in the rain, I'm still not too excited about riding in the rain, and since I have an option because I'm not traveling, I opted for foot travel as my exercise.
Wednesday was a bad day overall. I woke up feeling extremely dizzy, and because of that feeling I didn't feel capable of driving anywhere. I did very little work, all of it from home. At one point I thought I should take a walk, so I headed outside. I didn't get too far from my front door when I realized that there was probably a fairly good chance that I was going to fall and hit the ground. Not a good idea, so I headed back inside. No walk today...
Thursday was the day of the doctor's appointment from hell. OK, OK, I know that's probably not totally fair. It was my long-awaited followup appointment with the neurosurgeon - the one that was delayed for two weeks. Mass General is a teaching hospital, and I expected the visit to be with a resident. But it turned out to be with a more junior doc than I expected. I believe that the appointment was just a means of closing out the hospital visit, but of course I was also trying to get a clue to my continued dizziness. I'd like to figure out how not to have more days like Wednesday. When I mentioned my dizziness, the doc suggested that I make an appointment with my primary care physician to have my blood pressure checked. Hmmm... Couldn't he have checked it for me? He pointed out to me that they wouldn't do surgery for light-headedness. Silly me, I thought that a neurosurgeon could help me understand a condition left by my brain injury. Of course I found it interesting that when he came back from consulting with the doc whose name was on my appointment, he told me that the condition was probably a "concussive effect" from the accident. I already knew it was related to my injuries! Needless to say, I wasn't happy with his non-answers. And I'm well aware that there might not be any answers and that this may be something I have to live with for a while. But in the meantime I did make an appointment for next week to see my own doctor, who is an absolute gem. Maybe she can give me some tips on how to deal with (improve?) my continued dizziness.
On Friday I was pretty much back to my current version of normal. I headed into the office for a part of the day, then came home and finished my work day here. It was another walking day...
Wait, isn't biking the point of this journal? Of course it is!
The weekend finally rolled around with a wonderful, sunny Saturday morning. But it's a mountain stage in the Tour de France, and somehow I've managed to get hooked on watching the race. If I was at my normal energy level - before accident, that is - I would have headed out for a long ride early this morning and I would have watched the race replay at night. Since I'm not up to a long ride at this point I chose to watch the race as it unfolded. Then it was time for some food - got to keep those calories coming in - and time to head out on my bike. I ran out of energy after only 12 miles - a first for me - so I stopped to pick up another bottle of Gatorade and an ice cream sandwich. I have a habit of taking 2 water bottles with me when I ride around home - one filled with water and one filled with Gatorade. On short rides, it seems like water should be sufficient, but that's not working for me right now. And on Saturday it appeared that I needed two bottles of Gatorade, not one! The total mileage for my Saturday ride was 24 miles - a short ride in the overall scheme of things, but a long ride at this stage of my recovery.
I had a very strange wildlife encounter on my Saturday ride. There was a groundhog sitting in the middle of the driving lane on one of the quiet back roads. I didn't even realize what it was until I was pretty close, and I was close to the right edge of the road. The groundhog was definitely in the middle of the driving lane. As I rode by it started making what I assume were groundhog noises, and also started moving towards me. I was glad I was on the bike and above the level of its teeth! The bike probably scared him, but I definitely wasn't ready for an animal encounter!
Ah, Sunday, another biking day... I managed a 22 mile ride, not spectacular from a distance standpoint - but I did say that I would work up to distance slowly. And my body seems to be forcing that issue. 22 miles was more than enough today. Bummer.
On the one hand I got two good rides in over the weekend. On the other, I really wanted to do more. I know I have to accept what I'm managing as progress, but my impatience is definitely bubbling over!
Monday, July 12, 2004
Time to figure it out
...balancing healing, work, and bicycling
It's been seven and a half weeks since my crash, and that's really hard for me to believe. I'm trying hard to get back to normal as soon as possible, and everyone - family, friends, and co-workers - is telling me that I'm too hard on myself. Maybe, but maybe not. After all, how will I improve and get back to normal without pushing myself? And remember, for me normal includes biking - it's an important part of my life! I'm still trying to figure out what to do to help myself become closer to the Denise that I'm used to. Maybe writing down what I did from an exercise standpoint for the past week will help me to figure out how to help myself improve.
So what did I learn?
It's becoming clear to me that I expect more of myself than is reasonable at this stage of my recovery. Luckily, no one else expects the same. No, I'm not back at work full-time yet. And I'm not in the kind of cycling shape I expect to be in by this point in the summer. I want to be back, and I don't know how long it will take to get there. I hope that my body is ready for my planned end-of-October trip to Hawaii. (Oops, I keep saying that, don't I?) There are certainly worse places to go for a non-biking vacation, but I have my heart set on biking it again.
I have to admit I'm beginning to come to the conclusion that being somewhat dizzy is a fact of life for me right now. But it's funny - I don't feel dizzy on the bike. I wonder if that's related to the fact that I don't attempt to start a ride if I'm already feeling dizzy. But the fact remains that I usually have absolutely no warning before the dizziness starts, and I have yet to find a pattern of behavior that causes the problem. I do feel somewhat dizzy within a short period of time after I get off of the bike, but so far no problems when I'm riding. I guess that's a good thing. And hey - maybe that means I should spend more time on the bike. (I know, I know - that's not smart, and I'm not going to try it. My plan is to continue to work up to longer rides. Just a thought...)
I seem to have lost the concept of a rest day - at this point I don't think walking for an hour really designates a rest. I feel like I need to walk (rather than have an absolute rest day) to help maintain my sanity. But I probably really do need real rest days every so often. I think about driving to the coast and sitting in the shade reading and watching the waves. But - that's a drive, and I'm trying not to do any extensive driving either. Wait - something's got to give here!
I'm starting to look pretty normal - if you don't look too closely, that is! There are still some red patches on my face, and there's still swelling above my right eye, but at this point that swelling is more evident to me than it is to anyone else.
It's been seven and a half weeks since my crash, and that's really hard for me to believe. I'm trying hard to get back to normal as soon as possible, and everyone - family, friends, and co-workers - is telling me that I'm too hard on myself. Maybe, but maybe not. After all, how will I improve and get back to normal without pushing myself? And remember, for me normal includes biking - it's an important part of my life! I'm still trying to figure out what to do to help myself become closer to the Denise that I'm used to. Maybe writing down what I did from an exercise standpoint for the past week will help me to figure out how to help myself improve.
- Monday, July 5th --- no biking, walk: 75 minutes
Monday was a tired day for me. I clearly overdid the biking over the weekend, and luckily it was a somewhat wet weather day on Monday so I wasn't tempted to overdo it again. - Tuesday, July 6th --- Bike: 16 miles, walk: 50 minutes
In addition to getting back to biking, I'm also getting back to work. I spent 3 hours in the office and worked at home for probably the same amount of time. My walks today were a short walk in the morning, and another short walk after dinner with a stop at Starbucks for my evening decaf iced Americano. I took a bike ride at the end of my work day - a total of 16 miles, still at a very slow pace, so I'll count it at an hour and 15 minutes. Ouch! I've always been a relatively slow rider - but I've always been able to ride as far as I wanted. I wonder if my current slow speed will improve? To be honest, the time isn't what I'm working on - it's the endurance. - Wednesday, July 7th --- Bike: 15 miles, walk: 30 minutes
I was tired this morning, had trouble falling asleep last night. So what else is new? (OK, OK, it's new since the accident!) I turned the light out at 11, but the last time I looked at the clock it was about 12:30. I set the alarm for 7:30 and actually got up at 8. The alarm? I'm trying to retrain my body to sleep somewhat normal hours (for me that is). If I had been able to sleep from 11 to 7:30, that's 8 1/2 hours. My healing body appears to need between 9 and 10 hours of sleep, but I'm not OK with sleeping until 10AM to make up for not falling asleep at night. I'm hoping that if I continue to get up at a somewhat normal hour that my brain will get the hint that it's supposed to sleep at night. And I say somewhat because 7:30 just doesn't cut it if I want to exercise before work - or ride my bike to work! Because I woke up feeling tired, I opted to work at home today. I did manage to get in a late afternoon bike ride. I was still tired, but I felt like I needed to get moving. My ride was on neighborhood streets, not too far from home. It consisted of lots of small loops so I could get home easily if I misjudged myself and was really tired. Not so! - Thursday, July 8th --- No biking, walk: 70 minutes
I went to sleep last night at 10:30 - after the telecast of the Tour de France time trial - and set the alarm for 7:30 this morning. I headed into the office after breakfast and a 30-minute walk. I worked at my office today from 9:30 to 2:15, which is an improvement in time, but I knew it was time to head home when I started feeling dizzy. I drove home in an absolute downpour so today for a change I was glad I hadn't ridden my bike to work. I managed to spend some more time working once I got home, but I didn't ride today. It was time for a much-needed rest! - Friday, July 9th --- Bike: 16 miles, walk: 65 minutes
I had every intention of going to the office again today, but I was tired and a bit dizzy when I woke up so it turned into a work at home day. I guess I'm going to have to get used to being dizzy because it seems to be a relatively common condition for me lately. My morning dizziness did seem to abate by mid-afternoon and I didn't feel like I was risking falling, so I headed out for a 16-mile bike ride. - Saturday, July 10th --- Bike: 26 miles, walk: 40 minutes
Today was a day devoted to bicycles. I picked up my repaired and tuned up Pocket Rocket at the bike shop this morning. It was actually ready on Tuesday, but I didn't manage to drive over there before today... all better. I did a 26 mile ride this afternoon. It felt good, but I was definitely tired toward the end. I had no pain until I got off the bike - then I noticed soreness in my pelvis when I was walking. Funny - is that bone soreness, or are the muscles somehow involved? Time for a snack and a shower. Afterwards, as I sat watching a late broadcast of today's Tour de France I started feeling dizzy - or maybe I should say off balance. That feeling persisted for the rest of the day. It's a feeling I think I have to get used to. Not terrible, just not normal. I wonder if my body is trying to tell me I did too much today? - Sunday, July 11th --- Bike: 24 miles, walk: 45 minutes
I started today by watching the live coverage of the Tour de France. Then it was time for some more food before I headed out on my bike. It was a good ride although I started to feel tired at around 20 miles. At that point I had to ride another four miles to get home. After a shower and a snack - yes, eating again - I started to feel dizzy. I wonder why I don't feel that way on my bike... maybe I should ride further! Seriously though, that's probably not a great idea. I think continuing to increase my time on the bike slowly is the right idea.
So what did I learn?
It's becoming clear to me that I expect more of myself than is reasonable at this stage of my recovery. Luckily, no one else expects the same. No, I'm not back at work full-time yet. And I'm not in the kind of cycling shape I expect to be in by this point in the summer. I want to be back, and I don't know how long it will take to get there. I hope that my body is ready for my planned end-of-October trip to Hawaii. (Oops, I keep saying that, don't I?) There are certainly worse places to go for a non-biking vacation, but I have my heart set on biking it again.
I have to admit I'm beginning to come to the conclusion that being somewhat dizzy is a fact of life for me right now. But it's funny - I don't feel dizzy on the bike. I wonder if that's related to the fact that I don't attempt to start a ride if I'm already feeling dizzy. But the fact remains that I usually have absolutely no warning before the dizziness starts, and I have yet to find a pattern of behavior that causes the problem. I do feel somewhat dizzy within a short period of time after I get off of the bike, but so far no problems when I'm riding. I guess that's a good thing. And hey - maybe that means I should spend more time on the bike. (I know, I know - that's not smart, and I'm not going to try it. My plan is to continue to work up to longer rides. Just a thought...)
I seem to have lost the concept of a rest day - at this point I don't think walking for an hour really designates a rest. I feel like I need to walk (rather than have an absolute rest day) to help maintain my sanity. But I probably really do need real rest days every so often. I think about driving to the coast and sitting in the shade reading and watching the waves. But - that's a drive, and I'm trying not to do any extensive driving either. Wait - something's got to give here!
I'm starting to look pretty normal - if you don't look too closely, that is! There are still some red patches on my face, and there's still swelling above my right eye, but at this point that swelling is more evident to me than it is to anyone else.
Monday, July 5, 2004
A welcome rainy day
...means somewhat of a rest for my tired body
My start back to cycling on July 3rd was followed by another busy day on the 4th.
My friends Barb & Harvey came over with their dog Daphne and we headed out for an hour and a half hike through Harold Parker State Forest. We walked mostly on what was once a dirt road, but is now much narrower than a road and a is bit more like a wide trail. On the way back Harvey detoured onto a side path to avoid totally repeating the trail we'd already walked, but after a few minutes I decided that the narrow path was too uneven for me and headed back the way we came in. After all, I figured I didn't want to risk a fall and injuries of any kind at this stage in my recovery. We finished our hike with a nice lunch at The Vineyard , a wine store and deli within walking distance of my house. No wine - just food!
Home again in the early afternoon... and here I go again! I took a shower to wash off the bug stuff from our hike, and finally took the time to read the Sunday paper - I didn't read it at my usual time in the morning since I was too caught up watching the Tour de France. It was a beautiful day - sunny, a bit windy, decent temperatures.
OK, OK, my bike was calling me again! I headed out on my bike again, and this time managed a ride of 19 miles. It was a slow riding day, and I honestly don't know if my slow speed was due to the wind, or due to the fact that I was probably reaching out past the edge of what I should be doing. I suspect that it was an edge condition... The thing is, the only way I know to improve is to do a bit more every day. For the past two weeks I've been walking an hour to an hour and a half a day. On Saturday, I walked an hour and a half and I rode my bike for an hour. On Sunday, I walked an hour and a half and given my slow riding speed I also rode my bike for close to an hour and a half. Oh wait - that's not doing a bit more day by day - that's doubling the amount of exercise my poor body is currently accustomed to!
Maybe I'm lucky today is an overcast and rainy day... I woke up this morning still feeling tired, and that's in spite of sleeping for ten hours last night. I have to admit that sleeping is still an issue for me right now. My body seems to need more than eight hours of sleep right now, with nine to ten hours appearing to be the magic numbers. Unfortunately I rarely get more than eight hours of sleep since I'm having problems falling asleep at night. So I either really wore myself out over the past couple of days or my body was finally reacting to a couple of nights short of sleep. In either case, I think a day of relative rest is probably a good idea. I'll get out and walk even if it keeps raining - after all that's what umbrellas are meant for. But I think I'll give the bike a rest for the day. I don't especially like riding in the rain, so I'm not likely to go out right now, and even if the pavement dries out it's probably a good idea to exercise some control and not ride today.
The rest of the week? Well I think and hope that's a different story. I plan to continue to do some walking each day, and I plan to also try to do some riding each day. I need to figure out how to balance everything and still improve my fitness level without totally tiring myself out, which could prove to be a step backwards. And of course add to that the fact that I'm still working up to working full-time! I need to be moving in a forward direction, improving every day as much as possible - even if it's a little bit. After all, I still have a vacation goal of riding my bike around the Big Island of Hawaii at the end of October.
Late in the day... I had a much quieter day today, but I still managed to walk for an hour plus. It was the right decision not to ride today, even if the weather had been more tempting. I have a feeling that working up to my normal riding capacity will take quite a while, and my hopes yesterday of working up to commuting to work by bike by the end of July were probably quite unrealistic. That is only four weeks away after all! If I was starting from a normal beginning of season state that would likely be reasonable, but I suspect that with having to work out the after effects of an injured brain (and not just bones and muscle) that it may take longer to get back to normal. I still hope and believe that I have the time to recover a reasonable state of fitness well before my planned departure to Hawaii. Here's hoping that's not just an idle dream!
My start back to cycling on July 3rd was followed by another busy day on the 4th.
My friends Barb & Harvey came over with their dog Daphne and we headed out for an hour and a half hike through Harold Parker State Forest. We walked mostly on what was once a dirt road, but is now much narrower than a road and a is bit more like a wide trail. On the way back Harvey detoured onto a side path to avoid totally repeating the trail we'd already walked, but after a few minutes I decided that the narrow path was too uneven for me and headed back the way we came in. After all, I figured I didn't want to risk a fall and injuries of any kind at this stage in my recovery. We finished our hike with a nice lunch at The Vineyard , a wine store and deli within walking distance of my house. No wine - just food!
Home again in the early afternoon... and here I go again! I took a shower to wash off the bug stuff from our hike, and finally took the time to read the Sunday paper - I didn't read it at my usual time in the morning since I was too caught up watching the Tour de France. It was a beautiful day - sunny, a bit windy, decent temperatures.
OK, OK, my bike was calling me again! I headed out on my bike again, and this time managed a ride of 19 miles. It was a slow riding day, and I honestly don't know if my slow speed was due to the wind, or due to the fact that I was probably reaching out past the edge of what I should be doing. I suspect that it was an edge condition... The thing is, the only way I know to improve is to do a bit more every day. For the past two weeks I've been walking an hour to an hour and a half a day. On Saturday, I walked an hour and a half and I rode my bike for an hour. On Sunday, I walked an hour and a half and given my slow riding speed I also rode my bike for close to an hour and a half. Oh wait - that's not doing a bit more day by day - that's doubling the amount of exercise my poor body is currently accustomed to!
Maybe I'm lucky today is an overcast and rainy day... I woke up this morning still feeling tired, and that's in spite of sleeping for ten hours last night. I have to admit that sleeping is still an issue for me right now. My body seems to need more than eight hours of sleep right now, with nine to ten hours appearing to be the magic numbers. Unfortunately I rarely get more than eight hours of sleep since I'm having problems falling asleep at night. So I either really wore myself out over the past couple of days or my body was finally reacting to a couple of nights short of sleep. In either case, I think a day of relative rest is probably a good idea. I'll get out and walk even if it keeps raining - after all that's what umbrellas are meant for. But I think I'll give the bike a rest for the day. I don't especially like riding in the rain, so I'm not likely to go out right now, and even if the pavement dries out it's probably a good idea to exercise some control and not ride today.
The rest of the week? Well I think and hope that's a different story. I plan to continue to do some walking each day, and I plan to also try to do some riding each day. I need to figure out how to balance everything and still improve my fitness level without totally tiring myself out, which could prove to be a step backwards. And of course add to that the fact that I'm still working up to working full-time! I need to be moving in a forward direction, improving every day as much as possible - even if it's a little bit. After all, I still have a vacation goal of riding my bike around the Big Island of Hawaii at the end of October.
Late in the day... I had a much quieter day today, but I still managed to walk for an hour plus. It was the right decision not to ride today, even if the weather had been more tempting. I have a feeling that working up to my normal riding capacity will take quite a while, and my hopes yesterday of working up to commuting to work by bike by the end of July were probably quite unrealistic. That is only four weeks away after all! If I was starting from a normal beginning of season state that would likely be reasonable, but I suspect that with having to work out the after effects of an injured brain (and not just bones and muscle) that it may take longer to get back to normal. I still hope and believe that I have the time to recover a reasonable state of fitness well before my planned departure to Hawaii. Here's hoping that's not just an idle dream!
Saturday, July 3, 2004
My bike is calling, and
I know I should wait for the doc's OK, but... OK, OK, I'm listening to my bike!
Yes, you're right - this journal entry really is from the same day as the last one was...
And really - you can believe me - I had good intentions, and I was going to wait for an OK to ride from the neurosurgeon. But then my appointment was moved out two weeks. And I went to the bike shop and bought a new helmet. And I have bikes sitting in the garage just waiting to be ridden. And it's been just over six weeks since I was on a bike and I can't stand not riding any more!
My first ride was an after-dinner jaunt. I'm still eating very early because I'm trying to pay attention to my body. When it says eat, I eat. Very simple. So there was plenty of daylight left.
The puzzle of the day was to remember how to open the clips on my Sidi riding shoes. (You are laughing about that, right?) I have to admit it took me a minute - and now I think I know why the paramedics just pulled my shoes off without loosening them! No problem, the buckles are released, shoes on, buckles tightened, helmet on, ready to go...
It was a 13 mile ride at just under 13 miles an hour. And who said that 13 isn't a lucky number? By my mind it is very lucky! The fact that I haven't been riding was definitely noticeable on uphills, but I wasn't trying to break any speed records, just to have a nice casual ride. Amazingly enough, I didn't feel any pain at all from that previously broken pelvic bone. I notice it when I do a long walk, but I didn't notice anything while I was biking. There was a little twinge afterward, but nothing bad.
I started out by riding the same road that I rode the fateful morning of May 20th. And I have to tell you, I didn't see anything wrong with the road surface. That is, nothing other than is normally wrong. There are cracks in the road surface, and there's an occasional bump, but nothing that stood out. I guess I'll just have to believe that it was bad luck and that there was something in the road that I hit or that I somehow got my front tire caught in a crack unexpectedly. I'll never know - so maybe it's time to make something up! Not really - I'll just accept that I don't know the cause of my stellar crash, and I'll trust that it won't happen again.
A very happy cyclist after my first ride in just over six weeks! Yes, there are still red spots on my face that have nothing to do with sweat and exercise. And yes, this is my new helmet, and yes, I did adjust the strap near my ear and there is not a gap there anymore!
Yes, you're right - this journal entry really is from the same day as the last one was...
And really - you can believe me - I had good intentions, and I was going to wait for an OK to ride from the neurosurgeon. But then my appointment was moved out two weeks. And I went to the bike shop and bought a new helmet. And I have bikes sitting in the garage just waiting to be ridden. And it's been just over six weeks since I was on a bike and I can't stand not riding any more!
My first ride was an after-dinner jaunt. I'm still eating very early because I'm trying to pay attention to my body. When it says eat, I eat. Very simple. So there was plenty of daylight left.
The puzzle of the day was to remember how to open the clips on my Sidi riding shoes. (You are laughing about that, right?) I have to admit it took me a minute - and now I think I know why the paramedics just pulled my shoes off without loosening them! No problem, the buckles are released, shoes on, buckles tightened, helmet on, ready to go...
It was a 13 mile ride at just under 13 miles an hour. And who said that 13 isn't a lucky number? By my mind it is very lucky! The fact that I haven't been riding was definitely noticeable on uphills, but I wasn't trying to break any speed records, just to have a nice casual ride. Amazingly enough, I didn't feel any pain at all from that previously broken pelvic bone. I notice it when I do a long walk, but I didn't notice anything while I was biking. There was a little twinge afterward, but nothing bad.
I started out by riding the same road that I rode the fateful morning of May 20th. And I have to tell you, I didn't see anything wrong with the road surface. That is, nothing other than is normally wrong. There are cracks in the road surface, and there's an occasional bump, but nothing that stood out. I guess I'll just have to believe that it was bad luck and that there was something in the road that I hit or that I somehow got my front tire caught in a crack unexpectedly. I'll never know - so maybe it's time to make something up! Not really - I'll just accept that I don't know the cause of my stellar crash, and I'll trust that it won't happen again.
A very happy cyclist after my first ride in just over six weeks! Yes, there are still red spots on my face that have nothing to do with sweat and exercise. And yes, this is my new helmet, and yes, I did adjust the strap near my ear and there is not a gap there anymore!
The real state of my bike
And a new helmet (uh oh, I'm ready to go!)
Today was the day for taking my bike to my favorite bike shop. And guess what - it's in better shape than I thought. When I looked at the bike, I saw shift/brake levers that weren't quite where they were supposed to be (especially the left lever) and that had pieces missing (actually shaved or knocked off the top). The front tire was flat, and the wheel appeared to be no where near true. Luckily for my wallet, the bike is pretty much OK. The mechanic simply pushed the levers back where they belonged and then ran through the shifting. He said he could replace the missing and displaced pieces on the top of the levers, and recommended continuing to use the levers that are on the bike until they stop working. Both appear to be good right now. And the wheel? Well it turns out that was an optical illusion because the tire is flat, and in fact the wheel is still round. Amazing. I guess I already knew this - I did a lot more damage to my body than to my bike! But since I was already there, and since I had been about to take my bike in for a tune-up before May 20th happened, I left the bike at the shop for a tune-up and to have them replace the missing lever pieces and to fix the flat. (OK, you're right - I could have changed the tire myself... but sometimes it's good to be lazy and to let someone else deal with it!)
After my conversation with the mechanic, I headed over to the helmet display. I can't get back on my bike until I have a new helmet - so it was time for a purchase. As usual I was looking for something lightweight with lots of air flow. I bought a Giro Pneumo, which is actually the same helmet that saved me in my crash.
So - I'm ready to go. Yes, I won't get my Pocket Rocket back until Tuesday, but I do have two other bikes to ride. And yes, I know I'm supposed to wait for an OK from the neurosurgeon - but I have to tell you that it's getting harder every day to stay off of my bike. Right now I'm sitting in my living room with my computer on my lap and with the television on so I can watch the prologue of the Tour de France. When that's over, I'm going to repeat that walk into Andover Center that tired me out last Saturday. I'm hoping that a week's improvement (and continued exercise via walking) will allow me to feel closer to normal when I get home this time.
Late afternoon: Home again... I did walk into Andover and back home again, I'd guess about four miles total given the roads that I took. It was a huge improvement from last week. My leg - specifically the area of the pelvic bone fracture - was complaining some by the time I arrived home, but I felt like I was able to maintain the same pace for the entire walk. That's much better than last week's effort!
The problem now? Well, I knew it would be a problem as soon as I had a helmet to wear, no surprises here. (And you probably knew it was a problem too after reading the entry I wrote before I took my walk!) I really want to try riding. Really, really, really... And yes, I do know that it's quite possible that riding might feel just awful. I was planning to wait until after the visit with the neurosurgeon - the appointment that I was supposed to have two days ago until his office canceled due to emergencies, and the appointment that is now another two weeks in the future. It's late in the day on the Saturday of a three-day weekend, so there really isn't a chance that I'll go out today. Tomorrow or the next day? Only time will tell!
Today was the day for taking my bike to my favorite bike shop. And guess what - it's in better shape than I thought. When I looked at the bike, I saw shift/brake levers that weren't quite where they were supposed to be (especially the left lever) and that had pieces missing (actually shaved or knocked off the top). The front tire was flat, and the wheel appeared to be no where near true. Luckily for my wallet, the bike is pretty much OK. The mechanic simply pushed the levers back where they belonged and then ran through the shifting. He said he could replace the missing and displaced pieces on the top of the levers, and recommended continuing to use the levers that are on the bike until they stop working. Both appear to be good right now. And the wheel? Well it turns out that was an optical illusion because the tire is flat, and in fact the wheel is still round. Amazing. I guess I already knew this - I did a lot more damage to my body than to my bike! But since I was already there, and since I had been about to take my bike in for a tune-up before May 20th happened, I left the bike at the shop for a tune-up and to have them replace the missing lever pieces and to fix the flat. (OK, you're right - I could have changed the tire myself... but sometimes it's good to be lazy and to let someone else deal with it!)
After my conversation with the mechanic, I headed over to the helmet display. I can't get back on my bike until I have a new helmet - so it was time for a purchase. As usual I was looking for something lightweight with lots of air flow. I bought a Giro Pneumo, which is actually the same helmet that saved me in my crash.
So - I'm ready to go. Yes, I won't get my Pocket Rocket back until Tuesday, but I do have two other bikes to ride. And yes, I know I'm supposed to wait for an OK from the neurosurgeon - but I have to tell you that it's getting harder every day to stay off of my bike. Right now I'm sitting in my living room with my computer on my lap and with the television on so I can watch the prologue of the Tour de France. When that's over, I'm going to repeat that walk into Andover Center that tired me out last Saturday. I'm hoping that a week's improvement (and continued exercise via walking) will allow me to feel closer to normal when I get home this time.
Late afternoon: Home again... I did walk into Andover and back home again, I'd guess about four miles total given the roads that I took. It was a huge improvement from last week. My leg - specifically the area of the pelvic bone fracture - was complaining some by the time I arrived home, but I felt like I was able to maintain the same pace for the entire walk. That's much better than last week's effort!
The problem now? Well, I knew it would be a problem as soon as I had a helmet to wear, no surprises here. (And you probably knew it was a problem too after reading the entry I wrote before I took my walk!) I really want to try riding. Really, really, really... And yes, I do know that it's quite possible that riding might feel just awful. I was planning to wait until after the visit with the neurosurgeon - the appointment that I was supposed to have two days ago until his office canceled due to emergencies, and the appointment that is now another two weeks in the future. It's late in the day on the Saturday of a three-day weekend, so there really isn't a chance that I'll go out today. Tomorrow or the next day? Only time will tell!
Thursday, July 1, 2004
I was hoping for permission to ride
What do you mean my appointment is canceled?
I was supposed to have an appointment with a neurosurgeon at Mass General this morning. It's quite possible I met him while I was in the hospital but there's no memory of our meeting. I say supposed to because his office called - luckily before I set out for Boston - to cancel the appointment. Multiple emergency surgeries. OK, that's probably the right priority, but at the time of the cancellation the admin told me she'd call back later to reschedule because she had to do all of the cancellations first. Wait - isn't it the same appointment system to cancel one appointment and schedule another? Or do they have one damned silly computer system down there?
When the admin told me the new appointment would probably be in 2 to 3 weeks, I asked her if there was anything she could do about that. Because I was civil and polite and didn't (really) give her a hard time, she said she'd try for an earlier appointment. I'm still waiting to hear... and I'm getting impatient. This is the doc I need to talk with about starting to ride again. I'm walking, but I want to be riding. If that appointment is another 3 weeks out - well do you want to take bets on whether I'll be attempting to ride before getting the official OK?
Update on July 2nd: The doc's admin just called and told me my new appointment is on July 15th. Two weeks out. That's not unexpected, but it is disappointing. The big question in my mind still remains - will I have enough control to wait for the doc's OK before attempting to ride my bike?
I do have at least one important thing (on my own list, that is - who knows what the doc will want?) to do before I hop back on a bike, and that is to buy a new helmet. That's on my weekend list of things to do, along with dropping my poor injured bike off at the bike shop for the much awaited repairs.
I was supposed to have an appointment with a neurosurgeon at Mass General this morning. It's quite possible I met him while I was in the hospital but there's no memory of our meeting. I say supposed to because his office called - luckily before I set out for Boston - to cancel the appointment. Multiple emergency surgeries. OK, that's probably the right priority, but at the time of the cancellation the admin told me she'd call back later to reschedule because she had to do all of the cancellations first. Wait - isn't it the same appointment system to cancel one appointment and schedule another? Or do they have one damned silly computer system down there?
When the admin told me the new appointment would probably be in 2 to 3 weeks, I asked her if there was anything she could do about that. Because I was civil and polite and didn't (really) give her a hard time, she said she'd try for an earlier appointment. I'm still waiting to hear... and I'm getting impatient. This is the doc I need to talk with about starting to ride again. I'm walking, but I want to be riding. If that appointment is another 3 weeks out - well do you want to take bets on whether I'll be attempting to ride before getting the official OK?
Update on July 2nd: The doc's admin just called and told me my new appointment is on July 15th. Two weeks out. That's not unexpected, but it is disappointing. The big question in my mind still remains - will I have enough control to wait for the doc's OK before attempting to ride my bike?
I do have at least one important thing (on my own list, that is - who knows what the doc will want?) to do before I hop back on a bike, and that is to buy a new helmet. That's on my weekend list of things to do, along with dropping my poor injured bike off at the bike shop for the much awaited repairs.
Tuesday, June 29, 2004
Good days & bad days
Non-biking exercise, and working from home
I've been better than I expected at accepting that I can't bike yet, and I've been trying to get out walking 2 to 3 times a day for 20 to 30 minutes each time. I was hoping to swim too, but 2 things are still stopping me - some swelling on my forehead that will prevent me from comfortably wearing goggles, and the remainder of my post traumatic benign vertigo. I believe it is improving, but going from a vertical to a horizontal position (or from a horizontal to vertical position), while easier than it was, still causes the room to spin.
On Saturday I actually walked into Andover to go to the drug store. A car? Yes, it's easier to drive, but I figured it would be a good walk. Probably 3 1/2 to 4 miles in total since I don't seem to follow a straight route. The walk in was fine, but I was definitely tired and slowing down on the way home. What a change an accident makes! I wasn't at my full summer cycling mileage (per week) at the time of the accident, but I was close. At this point I believe that it's going to take me a while to work up to my normal level of activity - and I have to believe that the bulk of my slowness has to do with the brain injury and not the broken bones. Yes, sometimes the area of the broken pelvic bone whines at me about being sore, but it's typically not sore enough to stop me - and I'm hoping that it either gets better or I get used to it - and I have to have something to think is causing this. Hmmm... I really did get hurt, didn't I?
I asked a colleague to load up our latest software on my work computer - luckily a laptop - and bring it to me. It was good to see him, and it's good to be able to work from home for a while. Not full days yet, but whatever my body will accept...
I'm still having good days and bad days. Yesterday was a bad day, in spite of my managing to get in 2 walks and about 5 hours worth of work. For some reason I had passing nausea on a regular basis. I never actually vomited, but I have to tell you that I didn't feel very good.
Today I felt better - what a difference! I woke up too early, which unfortunately is pretty normal for me right now. The docs say I need a lot of sleep, and I think they mean more than I'm getting. I woke at 5am after falling asleep last night about 11. I stayed in bed in the hopes of falling asleep again, but I think I only managed about another 45 minutes. I finally gave up, retrieved the newspaper from the front walk, and had some breakfast. I then headed to the office for a visit. I was good - I left my work laptop computer at home because I figured if I took it in with me that I'd end up staying too long and then I wouldn't be capable of driving home. (I know, I know, not the kind of problem you're used to hearing about.) It was good to see people again. I was probably there about an hour and a half, then it was time to head home. I still managed to get two walks in today, plus a bit of real work. That is, in between fixing a strange all-of-a-sudden problem with my cable modem. Many thanks to Rob from work for helping me through that one!
I feel like I need to push myself to work at recovering, but I wonder if my body is telling me I'm overdoing it?
I've been better than I expected at accepting that I can't bike yet, and I've been trying to get out walking 2 to 3 times a day for 20 to 30 minutes each time. I was hoping to swim too, but 2 things are still stopping me - some swelling on my forehead that will prevent me from comfortably wearing goggles, and the remainder of my post traumatic benign vertigo. I believe it is improving, but going from a vertical to a horizontal position (or from a horizontal to vertical position), while easier than it was, still causes the room to spin.
On Saturday I actually walked into Andover to go to the drug store. A car? Yes, it's easier to drive, but I figured it would be a good walk. Probably 3 1/2 to 4 miles in total since I don't seem to follow a straight route. The walk in was fine, but I was definitely tired and slowing down on the way home. What a change an accident makes! I wasn't at my full summer cycling mileage (per week) at the time of the accident, but I was close. At this point I believe that it's going to take me a while to work up to my normal level of activity - and I have to believe that the bulk of my slowness has to do with the brain injury and not the broken bones. Yes, sometimes the area of the broken pelvic bone whines at me about being sore, but it's typically not sore enough to stop me - and I'm hoping that it either gets better or I get used to it - and I have to have something to think is causing this. Hmmm... I really did get hurt, didn't I?
I asked a colleague to load up our latest software on my work computer - luckily a laptop - and bring it to me. It was good to see him, and it's good to be able to work from home for a while. Not full days yet, but whatever my body will accept...
I'm still having good days and bad days. Yesterday was a bad day, in spite of my managing to get in 2 walks and about 5 hours worth of work. For some reason I had passing nausea on a regular basis. I never actually vomited, but I have to tell you that I didn't feel very good.
Today I felt better - what a difference! I woke up too early, which unfortunately is pretty normal for me right now. The docs say I need a lot of sleep, and I think they mean more than I'm getting. I woke at 5am after falling asleep last night about 11. I stayed in bed in the hopes of falling asleep again, but I think I only managed about another 45 minutes. I finally gave up, retrieved the newspaper from the front walk, and had some breakfast. I then headed to the office for a visit. I was good - I left my work laptop computer at home because I figured if I took it in with me that I'd end up staying too long and then I wouldn't be capable of driving home. (I know, I know, not the kind of problem you're used to hearing about.) It was good to see people again. I was probably there about an hour and a half, then it was time to head home. I still managed to get two walks in today, plus a bit of real work. That is, in between fixing a strange all-of-a-sudden problem with my cable modem. Many thanks to Rob from work for helping me through that one!
I feel like I need to push myself to work at recovering, but I wonder if my body is telling me I'm overdoing it?
Friday, June 25, 2004
The orthopedic doc says biking is OK
But he also said to check with the neurologist!
Ah, the first followup appointment at Mass General Hospital was this morning...
Today was my scheduled appointment with orthopedics. I had to ask the doc if we'd met before since my hospital memories aren't too clear. He apparently saw me for all of three minutes when I first entered MGH after my crash. We talked a bit about the crash - I told him that although I have no memories of the crash, based on the state of my bike and my head my assumption is that I flipped forward, taking the bike with me and landing on my head. He agreed based on the injuries that I had. He told me he knew someone who took what apparently was the same type of crash as I did - but the person he knew hit his head in such a way that he died within a couple of hours - even though he was wearing a helmet. I've thought that I was lucky all along. Yes, I had some pretty bad injuries - including broken bones around my right eye, a fractured skull, bleeding in my brain (the side opposite all of the broken bones), a broken rib, and a broken pelvis, but luckily for me they were surviveable. I still believe that if I hadn't been wearing a helmet I would definitely be dead. It could have happened anyway.
He took the opportunity while we were talking about biking accidents to warn me that depression is often a side effect of accidents like mine, telling me not to hesitate to seek the help if depression came my way. I'll keep that in mind, but for now I think I'm OK.
The doc asked if I wanted to see the cat scan of my pelvis, and of course I did. He showed me the broken bone, which no longer has any semblance of being straight. But when I asked him if that would cause a problem he said no. Pain, maybe, but a long-term problem no - even though he told me to expect some level of annoyance from the bone, maybe forever. I asked him if I had any remaining restrictions because of the fracture, and he asked me what I'd been doing. I've only been walking - and more slowly than normal for me - but I've been getting out 2 to 3 times a day for 20 to 30 minutes each time. He laughed, said no restrictions, and told me that as far as he's concerned I can get back on the bike now - even though he warned me that I would likely notice the pelvic injury - but that I should wait and check with the neurologist first. I have a head CT today, and an appointment with the neurosurgeon next Thursday - hopefully I can start riding soon.
But even I'm not crazy enough to think I can start at the same distance I was riding pre-accident!
Wow - if you don't look too closely I'm getting closer to a normal look. But then again, those red areas are apparently still going to be with me for a while...
Ah, the first followup appointment at Mass General Hospital was this morning...
Today was my scheduled appointment with orthopedics. I had to ask the doc if we'd met before since my hospital memories aren't too clear. He apparently saw me for all of three minutes when I first entered MGH after my crash. We talked a bit about the crash - I told him that although I have no memories of the crash, based on the state of my bike and my head my assumption is that I flipped forward, taking the bike with me and landing on my head. He agreed based on the injuries that I had. He told me he knew someone who took what apparently was the same type of crash as I did - but the person he knew hit his head in such a way that he died within a couple of hours - even though he was wearing a helmet. I've thought that I was lucky all along. Yes, I had some pretty bad injuries - including broken bones around my right eye, a fractured skull, bleeding in my brain (the side opposite all of the broken bones), a broken rib, and a broken pelvis, but luckily for me they were surviveable. I still believe that if I hadn't been wearing a helmet I would definitely be dead. It could have happened anyway.
He took the opportunity while we were talking about biking accidents to warn me that depression is often a side effect of accidents like mine, telling me not to hesitate to seek the help if depression came my way. I'll keep that in mind, but for now I think I'm OK.
The doc asked if I wanted to see the cat scan of my pelvis, and of course I did. He showed me the broken bone, which no longer has any semblance of being straight. But when I asked him if that would cause a problem he said no. Pain, maybe, but a long-term problem no - even though he told me to expect some level of annoyance from the bone, maybe forever. I asked him if I had any remaining restrictions because of the fracture, and he asked me what I'd been doing. I've only been walking - and more slowly than normal for me - but I've been getting out 2 to 3 times a day for 20 to 30 minutes each time. He laughed, said no restrictions, and told me that as far as he's concerned I can get back on the bike now - even though he warned me that I would likely notice the pelvic injury - but that I should wait and check with the neurologist first. I have a head CT today, and an appointment with the neurosurgeon next Thursday - hopefully I can start riding soon.
But even I'm not crazy enough to think I can start at the same distance I was riding pre-accident!
Wow - if you don't look too closely I'm getting closer to a normal look. But then again, those red areas are apparently still going to be with me for a while...
Thursday, June 24, 2004
The apparent state of my bike, and...
What else is missing or not in reasonable shape? Helmet, shorts, shirt...
The bike definitely needs some fixing, but to be honest I suspect it's in better shape than I am...
It has a flat front tire, the front wheel is no longer really round, and the brake/shift levers are not where they belong and have some pieces missing.
When I first examined the bike I couldn't really bend down at all. Not smart, since I was also trying to clean it in preparation for taking it to the shop. You might think that's crazy, but I know it is appreciated, and I always make sure that my bike is clean when I take it in... Anyway, I really had to put the bike back as it was and go back to it another day to clean it up!
Hmmm... It took me several days at home before I realized that I hadn't seen everything I was wearing on the day of the crash.
I have my helmet, with two cracks in the lining material, a dent on the outside, straps that were cut to remove it, and blood coating the right side.
I have my shoes, my gloves, and my sunglasses - and all seem to be none the worse for wear. I honestly can't figure out the sunglasses being in one piece and having lenses that are not scratched since I clearly struck my head on the ground. And there's a mark on my nose (still, 5 weeks after the accident) that had to come from my glasses getting pushed into my face.
My shorts and knee warmers were cut off, and were given to me in pieces. My jersey, sports bra, wind vest, and arm warmers are all missing in action. That's a bit of a mystery to me - why was some of my stuff given to me and some thrown out? I have two guesses - either there were two different people (with different habits) cutting off my clothing, or there was blood on the stuff that wasn't given to me, and everything that was given to me was clean. But wait - there was blood all over my helmet, and they did return that to me. Oh well, it doesn't really matter since any clothing that was removed by cutting it off needs to be replaced anyway!
It's time to visit the bike shop, but I need to wait a bit until I can drive that distance without being too tired to drive home. And over course there's another danger too - getting all of the missing pieces will make me want to get back on my bike. I suppose I'd better wait until closer to when I will be allowed and able to ride again!
The bike definitely needs some fixing, but to be honest I suspect it's in better shape than I am...
It has a flat front tire, the front wheel is no longer really round, and the brake/shift levers are not where they belong and have some pieces missing.
When I first examined the bike I couldn't really bend down at all. Not smart, since I was also trying to clean it in preparation for taking it to the shop. You might think that's crazy, but I know it is appreciated, and I always make sure that my bike is clean when I take it in... Anyway, I really had to put the bike back as it was and go back to it another day to clean it up!
Hmmm... It took me several days at home before I realized that I hadn't seen everything I was wearing on the day of the crash.
I have my helmet, with two cracks in the lining material, a dent on the outside, straps that were cut to remove it, and blood coating the right side.
I have my shoes, my gloves, and my sunglasses - and all seem to be none the worse for wear. I honestly can't figure out the sunglasses being in one piece and having lenses that are not scratched since I clearly struck my head on the ground. And there's a mark on my nose (still, 5 weeks after the accident) that had to come from my glasses getting pushed into my face.
My shorts and knee warmers were cut off, and were given to me in pieces. My jersey, sports bra, wind vest, and arm warmers are all missing in action. That's a bit of a mystery to me - why was some of my stuff given to me and some thrown out? I have two guesses - either there were two different people (with different habits) cutting off my clothing, or there was blood on the stuff that wasn't given to me, and everything that was given to me was clean. But wait - there was blood all over my helmet, and they did return that to me. Oh well, it doesn't really matter since any clothing that was removed by cutting it off needs to be replaced anyway!
It's time to visit the bike shop, but I need to wait a bit until I can drive that distance without being too tired to drive home. And over course there's another danger too - getting all of the missing pieces will make me want to get back on my bike. I suppose I'd better wait until closer to when I will be allowed and able to ride again!
Saturday, June 5, 2004
Biker chick says it's time to ride
...but I know better
A new stuffed animal joined my small menagerie when I was in the hospital. Since I carry a small red dog called Rover with me on my tours, my friend Steve thought I needed a bigger version of Rover to help me deal with the hospital. Well, this bigger dog decided that she didn't want to be called Rover, and she told me her name is Biker Chick. She also has been telling me since the beginning that she wants to go biking. I've given her free rein of the bikes and told her that she can't ride my Pocket Rocket right now because it still needs to be fixed - but she can choose either of my touring bikes as her first ride.
And no, it's not time to ride yet. I'm home from the hospital and I'm walking as much as I can. While there are times that I think I could ride a bike (and it's frustrating not to be riding in this beautiful weather), I also know that it's too early. My heart says to ride, but my head tells me not to do anything that could set my progress back.
A new stuffed animal joined my small menagerie when I was in the hospital. Since I carry a small red dog called Rover with me on my tours, my friend Steve thought I needed a bigger version of Rover to help me deal with the hospital. Well, this bigger dog decided that she didn't want to be called Rover, and she told me her name is Biker Chick. She also has been telling me since the beginning that she wants to go biking. I've given her free rein of the bikes and told her that she can't ride my Pocket Rocket right now because it still needs to be fixed - but she can choose either of my touring bikes as her first ride.
And no, it's not time to ride yet. I'm home from the hospital and I'm walking as much as I can. While there are times that I think I could ride a bike (and it's frustrating not to be riding in this beautiful weather), I also know that it's too early. My heart says to ride, but my head tells me not to do anything that could set my progress back.
Thursday, June 3, 2004
Coming back: walking before riding
Ah, finally - home again...
My friend Lorah - who was in the midst of selling her house and packing for her upcoming move to Virginia - took a day to provide me with transportation home from the hospital, and to take my mom out to make a drug store and grocery run. In fact, they picked up fresh bagels, retrieved my prescription and stopped by the house to deliver both and to check up on me before they headed out again to the grocery store. Good friends are wonderful to have!
I'm the independent type - to put it mildly. I usually live alone, but I clearly needed help, and I suspect that that I would not have been released from the rehab hospital to come home alone. My mom stayed with me for two and a half weeks after I was released, which was definitely a good security blanket. She did the initial grocery shopping and driving (in a car lent to us by a good friend, since my car has a stick shift and although that's what she learned on, Mom hasn't driven one of those for years!), then came along with me as I graduated to driving again. Of course I insisted on doing as much as I physically could figuring that instead of assuming that I had limitations that I would trip on them when I attempted something that my body wasn't ready to do. It was probably somewhat of a challenge to stay with me over those couple of weeks!
There's really not much to say about my first days home other than it was definitely good to be home. I didn't really have the energy for much activity at this stage of my recovery, and most of the time was spent sitting around the house, reading, wandering over to the computer (to check email, to share other's cycling experiences, check the news, etc.), and walking a couple of times a day. The walks were very, very short to start with, graduating to (relatively) longer walks. In addition to enjoying being outside, an added plus to my walks was getting a chance to say hello and chat with some of my neighbors.
Home again, with access to a kitchen, fresh fruit, anything I want. Somehow small meals seemed to make me happiest as I was trying to undertand what type of food my body wanted. It's funny, you'd think after an accident like mine that just getting back to what I normally eat would make my body happy. But somehow I've found that food that used to work for me doesn't always hit the spot. Things are improving though... For now, yogurt and fruit shakes rule the day. And of course frozen yogurt and ice cream have a part in my recovery too!
I made an appointment to see my own doctor within the first week of being home since I wanted her to know what had happened in case I needed her help. It turned out that she had already been filled in by the neurologist from Spaulding, but I was glad that I went in to see her. Maybe that was my own version of insanity, but it was a good security blanket for me.
Before my mom returned home, she started counting the number of times I walked up and down the stairs each day. I kind of got the impression from the OT & PT at Spaulding that they figured I'd come downstairs in the morning, stay on one floor, and go back upstairs to sleep. That didn't work too well for me - maybe it was a repeat of the fiasco with the walker in the hospital. By the last weekend my mom was here, she counted my expeditions up and down the stairs at more than 20 a day. OK, OK, it's only one flight of stairs - but it's certainly better than doing nothing!
Keep walking, keep eating... and add in cycling as soon as possible!
Somehow I got into the habit of taking pictures of myself each day to try to document my healing progress. I have to say that I think the pictures actually look better than I did at the time I took them - ah, the magic of digital cameras! This picture was taken on June 4th, which is two days after I was released from the hospital. It's hard to believe, but if you look at what appears to be black & blue & swollen above my right eye - well, on August 12th, twelve weeks after the accident, it is still swollen (although just red, no longer black & blue)!
My friend Lorah - who was in the midst of selling her house and packing for her upcoming move to Virginia - took a day to provide me with transportation home from the hospital, and to take my mom out to make a drug store and grocery run. In fact, they picked up fresh bagels, retrieved my prescription and stopped by the house to deliver both and to check up on me before they headed out again to the grocery store. Good friends are wonderful to have!
I'm the independent type - to put it mildly. I usually live alone, but I clearly needed help, and I suspect that that I would not have been released from the rehab hospital to come home alone. My mom stayed with me for two and a half weeks after I was released, which was definitely a good security blanket. She did the initial grocery shopping and driving (in a car lent to us by a good friend, since my car has a stick shift and although that's what she learned on, Mom hasn't driven one of those for years!), then came along with me as I graduated to driving again. Of course I insisted on doing as much as I physically could figuring that instead of assuming that I had limitations that I would trip on them when I attempted something that my body wasn't ready to do. It was probably somewhat of a challenge to stay with me over those couple of weeks!
There's really not much to say about my first days home other than it was definitely good to be home. I didn't really have the energy for much activity at this stage of my recovery, and most of the time was spent sitting around the house, reading, wandering over to the computer (to check email, to share other's cycling experiences, check the news, etc.), and walking a couple of times a day. The walks were very, very short to start with, graduating to (relatively) longer walks. In addition to enjoying being outside, an added plus to my walks was getting a chance to say hello and chat with some of my neighbors.
Home again, with access to a kitchen, fresh fruit, anything I want. Somehow small meals seemed to make me happiest as I was trying to undertand what type of food my body wanted. It's funny, you'd think after an accident like mine that just getting back to what I normally eat would make my body happy. But somehow I've found that food that used to work for me doesn't always hit the spot. Things are improving though... For now, yogurt and fruit shakes rule the day. And of course frozen yogurt and ice cream have a part in my recovery too!
I made an appointment to see my own doctor within the first week of being home since I wanted her to know what had happened in case I needed her help. It turned out that she had already been filled in by the neurologist from Spaulding, but I was glad that I went in to see her. Maybe that was my own version of insanity, but it was a good security blanket for me.
Before my mom returned home, she started counting the number of times I walked up and down the stairs each day. I kind of got the impression from the OT & PT at Spaulding that they figured I'd come downstairs in the morning, stay on one floor, and go back upstairs to sleep. That didn't work too well for me - maybe it was a repeat of the fiasco with the walker in the hospital. By the last weekend my mom was here, she counted my expeditions up and down the stairs at more than 20 a day. OK, OK, it's only one flight of stairs - but it's certainly better than doing nothing!
Keep walking, keep eating... and add in cycling as soon as possible!
Somehow I got into the habit of taking pictures of myself each day to try to document my healing progress. I have to say that I think the pictures actually look better than I did at the time I took them - ah, the magic of digital cameras! This picture was taken on June 4th, which is two days after I was released from the hospital. It's hard to believe, but if you look at what appears to be black & blue & swollen above my right eye - well, on August 12th, twelve weeks after the accident, it is still swollen (although just red, no longer black & blue)!
Friday, May 28, 2004
Please, please, wear your helmet!
I really believe that if I hadn't been wearing a helmet when I crashed that I would not have survived. I had a broken skull, broken facial bones, and severe bleeding in my brain - and that was with the impact lessened by hitting my helmet rather than hitting my bare head directly. And every doctor I've seen who has looked at the results of my head cat scan has said something like "that is a significant brain injury".
I've worn a biking helmet for what seems like forever - actually since the days of the original Bell Biker - and I plan to continue that habit. Today's helmets are light-weight, have plenty of air vents, and are comfortable to wear. Funny though, when I went to see my primary care doc to make sure that she was up-to-speed on my not so great condition in case I needed her help with anything, she thought I should get a motorcycle helmet. Somehow I don't think that would be too comfortable, and it would certainly be hot. Me? I'm sticking with a bicycle helmet, and in case anyone has any doubts, I'll be buying a new helmet before I get on my bike again!
To all of my fellow cyclists - if you're currently riding and not wearing a helmet - please, please, please join the helmet-wearing crowd. It may just save your life someday as it just saved mine.
OK, so there's a bit of blood on my helmet... if you look to the right of the Giro logo and just above the strap, you can actually see a dent on the outside helmet material.
Apparently this is the side of my helmet and head that hit the ground. It amazes me that the helmet is still pretty much in one piece - but it does have some pretty severe cracks in the underlying material.
Another view of the through and through cracks - this time looking up at the helmet from the bottom.
I've worn a biking helmet for what seems like forever - actually since the days of the original Bell Biker - and I plan to continue that habit. Today's helmets are light-weight, have plenty of air vents, and are comfortable to wear. Funny though, when I went to see my primary care doc to make sure that she was up-to-speed on my not so great condition in case I needed her help with anything, she thought I should get a motorcycle helmet. Somehow I don't think that would be too comfortable, and it would certainly be hot. Me? I'm sticking with a bicycle helmet, and in case anyone has any doubts, I'll be buying a new helmet before I get on my bike again!
To all of my fellow cyclists - if you're currently riding and not wearing a helmet - please, please, please join the helmet-wearing crowd. It may just save your life someday as it just saved mine.
OK, so there's a bit of blood on my helmet... if you look to the right of the Giro logo and just above the strap, you can actually see a dent on the outside helmet material.
Apparently this is the side of my helmet and head that hit the ground. It amazes me that the helmet is still pretty much in one piece - but it does have some pretty severe cracks in the underlying material.
Another view of the through and through cracks - this time looking up at the helmet from the bottom.
Thursday, May 27, 2004
Surviving the food
...or can you even call it food?
Hospital food is definitely a problem...
I don't remember anything about the food at Mass General. I do know that my mom kept me supplied with shakes from the ice cream shop in the hospital - so apparently I didn't find the food acceptable. Not too much of a surprise, right?
The problem continued at Spaulding Rehab Hospital, and if anything the problem was even more severe. At Mass General there was a place to buy decent food. At Spaulding, the only public cafeteria was run by the same folks who ran the in-house food service. First I guess I'd better tell you that my normal diet tends to vegetarian and fish - so yes, I guess you could say I'm a bit fussy. I was supposed to be on a normal diet with no special foods. It was obvious from the first meal at Spaulding - a dinner - that the food was absolutely inedible. Mom went to try to get me something from the cafeteria to help tide me over until the next morning, and then she made some emergency phone calls to friends of mine who went shopping for food I could keep in the room and in the refrigerator in the kitchen on the floor. My friends brought food early the next day, including cereal, peanut butter, bread, veggies, cheese, and prepared foods from a whole foods market. Many thanks to Barb and Steve and Pam for bringing food to help me to survive that week without losing a ton of weight (not something that is advisable for me!). And Steve also told us about a takeout service in Boston with a central number and access to many restaurants, which helped with allowing us to select different (and interesting) dinners. The food problem was solved, and my mom & I could now eat together so she didn't need to get food once she got back to the hotel at night.
Hospital food is definitely a problem...
I don't remember anything about the food at Mass General. I do know that my mom kept me supplied with shakes from the ice cream shop in the hospital - so apparently I didn't find the food acceptable. Not too much of a surprise, right?
The problem continued at Spaulding Rehab Hospital, and if anything the problem was even more severe. At Mass General there was a place to buy decent food. At Spaulding, the only public cafeteria was run by the same folks who ran the in-house food service. First I guess I'd better tell you that my normal diet tends to vegetarian and fish - so yes, I guess you could say I'm a bit fussy. I was supposed to be on a normal diet with no special foods. It was obvious from the first meal at Spaulding - a dinner - that the food was absolutely inedible. Mom went to try to get me something from the cafeteria to help tide me over until the next morning, and then she made some emergency phone calls to friends of mine who went shopping for food I could keep in the room and in the refrigerator in the kitchen on the floor. My friends brought food early the next day, including cereal, peanut butter, bread, veggies, cheese, and prepared foods from a whole foods market. Many thanks to Barb and Steve and Pam for bringing food to help me to survive that week without losing a ton of weight (not something that is advisable for me!). And Steve also told us about a takeout service in Boston with a central number and access to many restaurants, which helped with allowing us to select different (and interesting) dinners. The food problem was solved, and my mom & I could now eat together so she didn't need to get food once she got back to the hotel at night.
If you're in Boston and looking for food, the takeout service that we used was DiningIn.com. The service delivers food from lots of good restaurants for a very reasonable delivery fee. It certainly was a good solution to the food problem I had while at Spaulding Rehab - but it would also be a good service for those of you who are visiting Boston and don't feel like cooking!
Wednesday, May 26, 2004
Hospital & rehab
...not a normal followup from a bike ride
I don't recommend that you follow in my footsteps...
I spent a week in Mass General Hospital (MGH) followed by a week at Spaulding Rehabilitation Hospital. I suspect that if I didn't have someone to stay with me on my release that my stay in the rehab hospital may have been longer.
I've been told I was in three different places at MGH, starting with neurological ICU, moving to a neurology bed, and ending in a trauma bed. You could fool me... Intensive care? That's not in my memory, although I'm told that I was talking and interacting with people throughout. Hmmm... Actually, I have very little memory of my time in the hospital, although I do remember my visitors. I may not have been speaking with them normally - and I initially had a short-term memory problem so it's more than likely that I repeated the same comments and questions - but I remember the folks who took time out of their busy lives to visit me, and I greatly appreciated the visits.
I have one story from my stay at MGH, courtesy of my mother who was there with me every day. She told me about the nurses working at getting me walking in the hospital - because of course they want you to get up and moving. In my case there apparently was a bit of a delay - for my first four days there my chart specified bed rest. No walking, nothing. Then it was time to move. They gave me crutches, and I tried to use them but apparently said they were no good for me. The nurse agreed, and came back the next day with a walker. That didn't exactly do what the nurse thought it should since my reaction to the walker was to pick the thing up, walk for a number of steps carrying the walker, then put it down. And repeat. That must have been a sight! It certainly wasn't what the walker was meant for, so I quickly graduated to walking without an aid device.
And I even had a visit from a 4-legged friend! Well, I guess I should call him a 4-legged stranger. On the second to last day I was at MGH, a volunteer came by and asked if I'd like a visit from a dog. Of course I said yes - it was a nice change of pace and a pleasure to meet her big guy! I still couldn't ride my bike, but I could commune with a friendly dog who was happy to listen to me...
I do remember my time at Spaulding Rehab though - beginning with an ambulance ride for a short distance across Boston. The two hospitals are really within walking distance of one another - even though Spaulding is kind of set off by itself in the shadow of the Big Dig - but ambulance transportation was the order of the day for this gal. I was quickly settled into a room with the roommate from hell. That lasted for two full days and three nights until a nurse kindly told me I could request another room - which I did the morning after an exceptionally bad night. My new roommate was a very nice older woman (I think she said she was 87) who was recovering from knee surgery. What a huge improvement! Problem solved, and another lesson learned - it never hurts to request a new room! It's hard to share a room with a total stranger, and I think successful sharing involves a shared respect for one another. That didn't exist with in my first roommate, but my second was an absolute gem.
I had help from friends - again - as I got settled at Spaulding. Pam went to my house to pick up comfortable clothes for me since the recommended attire was normal clothing. A T-shirt, lightweight workout pants, and sneakers were a huge improvement over a hospital gown!
I've always appreciated my friends, and this experience really highlighted how very important good friends (including family!) really are.
It was partway through my stay at Spaulding when I discovered an interesting problem as I was moving from a standing (or sitting) position to laying down - and the same problem in reverse. It turned out that I have a condition called post traumatic benign vertigo, which is exactly what it sounds like - exteme dizziness (as in wow! the room is spinning) on switching between vertical and horizontal positions. I learned when I needed to get out of bed - as in, the bathroom is calling - that I needed to sit on the edge of the bed for a minute before I attempted to stand. Somehow I managed to not end up on the floor during any of my transitions!
The rebab hospital was an interesting experience to say the least. My expectations were that I would spend a lot of time working on improving from a physical standpoint - but looking back I don't think that was really the point. The fact is that I had significant injuries and probably needed to continue to be in a place with readily available medical care. But still, my focus was on trying to do everything I could to help myself get better faster.
Let's see, I was in Spaulding Rehab over a holiday weekend. I always thought that hospitals were one of the places that still pretty much had full services over the weekend. Well, I was wrong. I believe there was the normal contingent of nursing staff, but other services OT (occupational therapy), PT (physical therapy), etc. were running with minimal staff and services were definitely curtailed over the weekend. Well, I needed to be there anyway - I clearly wasn't ready to be home on my own yet - but you know me and exercise... I was very lucky that my mom stayed and was there every day (nothing like a 52-year old relying on her mother!!!) because I don't believe I would have been allowed off the floor on my own. In fact for the first couple of days I wasn't supposed to leave my room by myself. With her there, I was able to walk up and down the hall on my floor, visit with other patients who were also pacing the floors, and - luckily - walk outside by the river. The sidewalks were mostly under construction, so we were pretty limited as to where we could walk, but it was great to be able to get outside!
PT? Well, in the short physical therapy sessions I had, they had me do some exercises between parallel bars so I had something to grab if I was off balance. Then I walked up a flight of 3 stairs several times. After the first couple of days I graduated to the stairwells. The physical therapist wanted me to walk up the steps one foot at a time to the same step. That is, left foot to the first step, right foot to the first step, left foot to the second step - well, you get it! That lasted about 3 steps, and then I started walking up (and down) the stairs like a normal person. I must have been a very annoying (and demanding) patient!
My mom - talking to my case manager on my second day at Spaulding Rehab - mentioned that it would be a good thing if I could have access to a computer. And amazingly enough, there were computers with Internet access available to rent - at $7 a day. In the overall scheme of things that was money well spent since it allowed me to catch up on email, catch up with my biking buddies, and start to see what was going on in the world.
I don't recommend that you follow in my footsteps...
I spent a week in Mass General Hospital (MGH) followed by a week at Spaulding Rehabilitation Hospital. I suspect that if I didn't have someone to stay with me on my release that my stay in the rehab hospital may have been longer.
I've been told I was in three different places at MGH, starting with neurological ICU, moving to a neurology bed, and ending in a trauma bed. You could fool me... Intensive care? That's not in my memory, although I'm told that I was talking and interacting with people throughout. Hmmm... Actually, I have very little memory of my time in the hospital, although I do remember my visitors. I may not have been speaking with them normally - and I initially had a short-term memory problem so it's more than likely that I repeated the same comments and questions - but I remember the folks who took time out of their busy lives to visit me, and I greatly appreciated the visits.
I have one story from my stay at MGH, courtesy of my mother who was there with me every day. She told me about the nurses working at getting me walking in the hospital - because of course they want you to get up and moving. In my case there apparently was a bit of a delay - for my first four days there my chart specified bed rest. No walking, nothing. Then it was time to move. They gave me crutches, and I tried to use them but apparently said they were no good for me. The nurse agreed, and came back the next day with a walker. That didn't exactly do what the nurse thought it should since my reaction to the walker was to pick the thing up, walk for a number of steps carrying the walker, then put it down. And repeat. That must have been a sight! It certainly wasn't what the walker was meant for, so I quickly graduated to walking without an aid device.
And I even had a visit from a 4-legged friend! Well, I guess I should call him a 4-legged stranger. On the second to last day I was at MGH, a volunteer came by and asked if I'd like a visit from a dog. Of course I said yes - it was a nice change of pace and a pleasure to meet her big guy! I still couldn't ride my bike, but I could commune with a friendly dog who was happy to listen to me...
I do remember my time at Spaulding Rehab though - beginning with an ambulance ride for a short distance across Boston. The two hospitals are really within walking distance of one another - even though Spaulding is kind of set off by itself in the shadow of the Big Dig - but ambulance transportation was the order of the day for this gal. I was quickly settled into a room with the roommate from hell. That lasted for two full days and three nights until a nurse kindly told me I could request another room - which I did the morning after an exceptionally bad night. My new roommate was a very nice older woman (I think she said she was 87) who was recovering from knee surgery. What a huge improvement! Problem solved, and another lesson learned - it never hurts to request a new room! It's hard to share a room with a total stranger, and I think successful sharing involves a shared respect for one another. That didn't exist with in my first roommate, but my second was an absolute gem.
I had help from friends - again - as I got settled at Spaulding. Pam went to my house to pick up comfortable clothes for me since the recommended attire was normal clothing. A T-shirt, lightweight workout pants, and sneakers were a huge improvement over a hospital gown!
I've always appreciated my friends, and this experience really highlighted how very important good friends (including family!) really are.
It was partway through my stay at Spaulding when I discovered an interesting problem as I was moving from a standing (or sitting) position to laying down - and the same problem in reverse. It turned out that I have a condition called post traumatic benign vertigo, which is exactly what it sounds like - exteme dizziness (as in wow! the room is spinning) on switching between vertical and horizontal positions. I learned when I needed to get out of bed - as in, the bathroom is calling - that I needed to sit on the edge of the bed for a minute before I attempted to stand. Somehow I managed to not end up on the floor during any of my transitions!
The rebab hospital was an interesting experience to say the least. My expectations were that I would spend a lot of time working on improving from a physical standpoint - but looking back I don't think that was really the point. The fact is that I had significant injuries and probably needed to continue to be in a place with readily available medical care. But still, my focus was on trying to do everything I could to help myself get better faster.
Let's see, I was in Spaulding Rehab over a holiday weekend. I always thought that hospitals were one of the places that still pretty much had full services over the weekend. Well, I was wrong. I believe there was the normal contingent of nursing staff, but other services OT (occupational therapy), PT (physical therapy), etc. were running with minimal staff and services were definitely curtailed over the weekend. Well, I needed to be there anyway - I clearly wasn't ready to be home on my own yet - but you know me and exercise... I was very lucky that my mom stayed and was there every day (nothing like a 52-year old relying on her mother!!!) because I don't believe I would have been allowed off the floor on my own. In fact for the first couple of days I wasn't supposed to leave my room by myself. With her there, I was able to walk up and down the hall on my floor, visit with other patients who were also pacing the floors, and - luckily - walk outside by the river. The sidewalks were mostly under construction, so we were pretty limited as to where we could walk, but it was great to be able to get outside!
PT? Well, in the short physical therapy sessions I had, they had me do some exercises between parallel bars so I had something to grab if I was off balance. Then I walked up a flight of 3 stairs several times. After the first couple of days I graduated to the stairwells. The physical therapist wanted me to walk up the steps one foot at a time to the same step. That is, left foot to the first step, right foot to the first step, left foot to the second step - well, you get it! That lasted about 3 steps, and then I started walking up (and down) the stairs like a normal person. I must have been a very annoying (and demanding) patient!
My mom - talking to my case manager on my second day at Spaulding Rehab - mentioned that it would be a good thing if I could have access to a computer. And amazingly enough, there were computers with Internet access available to rent - at $7 a day. In the overall scheme of things that was money well spent since it allowed me to catch up on email, catch up with my biking buddies, and start to see what was going on in the world.
Tuesday, May 25, 2004
Is there a police report?
...and where is my bike?
Interesting.
My friend Steve - I think at the partial instigation of my sister and brother - attempted to find the official record of what happened. It turns out that because there was only a bicycle involved that there was no police report.
There was an ambulance report at the North Andover Fire Department - but it could not be released to anyone but me. After I returned home I drove over to the Fire Department and presented my identification. I was told I would get a phone call when the report was located (hmmm, doesn't it seem like they could have just pulled it out of a file drawer or printed it from a computer?), and then I could either go pick it up or they could put it in the mail. I got a phone call later that day to let me know that the report was ready but I opted to wait until the next morning to head back out to the Fire Department office and pick it up since I was still getting very tired with very little effort. The next morning, the ambulance report was in my hands. It still didn't shed any light on how my crash had occurred, but it did fill in some gaps in my memory.
My bike? My neighbor Paul knows folks in the North Andover police department. He went there to try to retrieve the bike for me, and found that it was actually held by the State Police - the folks who apparently handled the accident scene. He wrote them a letter, then went down in person. He managed to convince them that it was a good idea to release my bike to him - so I was able to see my somewhat injured bicycle when I returned home.
Interesting.
My friend Steve - I think at the partial instigation of my sister and brother - attempted to find the official record of what happened. It turns out that because there was only a bicycle involved that there was no police report.
There was an ambulance report at the North Andover Fire Department - but it could not be released to anyone but me. After I returned home I drove over to the Fire Department and presented my identification. I was told I would get a phone call when the report was located (hmmm, doesn't it seem like they could have just pulled it out of a file drawer or printed it from a computer?), and then I could either go pick it up or they could put it in the mail. I got a phone call later that day to let me know that the report was ready but I opted to wait until the next morning to head back out to the Fire Department office and pick it up since I was still getting very tired with very little effort. The next morning, the ambulance report was in my hands. It still didn't shed any light on how my crash had occurred, but it did fill in some gaps in my memory.
My bike? My neighbor Paul knows folks in the North Andover police department. He went there to try to retrieve the bike for me, and found that it was actually held by the State Police - the folks who apparently handled the accident scene. He wrote them a letter, then went down in person. He managed to convince them that it was a good idea to release my bike to him - so I was able to see my somewhat injured bicycle when I returned home.
Thursday, May 20, 2004
Where's Denise?
...searching and notification
I always carry identification with me - usually my driver's license - and I always carry my health insurance card. But there's something I need to fix - I've never carried "please notify in case of emergency" information on a regular basis. I've always carried it when I'm traveling with my bike, but I've never been in the habit of carrying this information when I'm wandering near my home. In this case that was a pretty big omission.
Luckily even though I remember nothing about the day of the crash, I was apparently still lucid enough to give the hospital the name and phone numbers of my family. And I believe my family still would have been notified because - as you'll see as you continue reading - it's likely that the folks at my office would have called them at some point before the end of that first day.
Work was another story. My coworkers started trying to find me in the late morning. Most people had assumed I had something going on and would be in in a bit, but I had a meeting scheduled at 11 - and I wasn't there. And everyone knew that if I wasn't going to be in or was going to be later than usual that I always let folks know. The phone calls started - first with calls to my home and my cell phone to see if I could be found. I wasn't there, and there was no answer at either phone, but they left messages for me just in case.
They tried the Andover police, and were referred to the State Police. Next on the "find Denise" agenda was phone calls to hospitals. Michael called Lawrence General Hospital. I wish I could have seen his face - and heard what I'm sure was a very vocal reaction - when they told him I was no longer there but would not tell him where I was. The HIPAA (Health Insurance Portability and Accountability Act) privacy regulation is extremely strict about the release of personal health information, but it seems to me that it wouldn't have hurt for them to tell Michael where I had been transferred. After all, if I had actually still been at Lawrence General they would have told him that I was there! And tell me, what does "no longer here" really mean? Released and OK? Transferred? Dead? Isn't the actual truth preferable to their answer?
The next call was placed by Ken, and the next hospital was Mass General. At that point at least they knew where I was. My sister called my office later in the day and spoke to Ken. She filled him in on what had happened, and he was able to pass on that update to everyone in the office. The next morning, Michael got an email with an update from Steve, who had just talked with my mom. When I went on my cross-country trip back in 2002, I made sure that my folks had the phone numbers of some of my friends here. That helped, because they were able to contact them for me.
The lesson: carry both identification and information on who to contact in an emergency. I believe the folks at work would have found me and notified my parents, but that's not a for sure situation. I happen to work for a very small company with unbelieveable people, and I suspect that the "find out what happened to Denise" exercise wouldn't have happened in just any company.
I always carry identification with me - usually my driver's license - and I always carry my health insurance card. But there's something I need to fix - I've never carried "please notify in case of emergency" information on a regular basis. I've always carried it when I'm traveling with my bike, but I've never been in the habit of carrying this information when I'm wandering near my home. In this case that was a pretty big omission.
Luckily even though I remember nothing about the day of the crash, I was apparently still lucid enough to give the hospital the name and phone numbers of my family. And I believe my family still would have been notified because - as you'll see as you continue reading - it's likely that the folks at my office would have called them at some point before the end of that first day.
Work was another story. My coworkers started trying to find me in the late morning. Most people had assumed I had something going on and would be in in a bit, but I had a meeting scheduled at 11 - and I wasn't there. And everyone knew that if I wasn't going to be in or was going to be later than usual that I always let folks know. The phone calls started - first with calls to my home and my cell phone to see if I could be found. I wasn't there, and there was no answer at either phone, but they left messages for me just in case.
They tried the Andover police, and were referred to the State Police. Next on the "find Denise" agenda was phone calls to hospitals. Michael called Lawrence General Hospital. I wish I could have seen his face - and heard what I'm sure was a very vocal reaction - when they told him I was no longer there but would not tell him where I was. The HIPAA (Health Insurance Portability and Accountability Act) privacy regulation is extremely strict about the release of personal health information, but it seems to me that it wouldn't have hurt for them to tell Michael where I had been transferred. After all, if I had actually still been at Lawrence General they would have told him that I was there! And tell me, what does "no longer here" really mean? Released and OK? Transferred? Dead? Isn't the actual truth preferable to their answer?
The next call was placed by Ken, and the next hospital was Mass General. At that point at least they knew where I was. My sister called my office later in the day and spoke to Ken. She filled him in on what had happened, and he was able to pass on that update to everyone in the office. The next morning, Michael got an email with an update from Steve, who had just talked with my mom. When I went on my cross-country trip back in 2002, I made sure that my folks had the phone numbers of some of my friends here. That helped, because they were able to contact them for me.
The lesson: carry both identification and information on who to contact in an emergency. I believe the folks at work would have found me and notified my parents, but that's not a for sure situation. I happen to work for a very small company with unbelieveable people, and I suspect that the "find out what happened to Denise" exercise wouldn't have happened in just any company.
Update on September 26, 2004: I just ordered (and received) a SHOE ID from Road ID so if something like this happens again the emergency personnel will have information on who to contact if I'm not able to supply that information myself. The company was very fast in filling my order - I placed the order on a Thursday, and it was shipped on Tuesday, and received on Saturday, definitely good service. I actually splurged and bought 2 IDs - one that attaches to my shoe, which is what I plan to use while cycling, and one that is worn around my neck for when I go hiking in my sandals. OK, two IDs may have been a splurge, but I think it will be worth it!
Although it isn't stated on the RoadID web site you can actually place information on both sides of the ID. My ID has my name, city/state/country, and emergency contact information (2 phone numbers for a good friend who lives (relatively) close to me, and 1 phone number for family members. On the back I have additional health-related information, like the name of my health insurance company, my primary care physician, my year of birth (apparently emergency personnel want a clue about how old you are), and some general health information. If you want information on both sides of the ID you will have to place your order over the phone since that capability isn't yet supported on the RoadID web site.
Update on April 27, 2008: RoadID now sells an interactive version of the ID, and I have switched to this new option. It's interactive in that there is a web site that is used to store important information, and that web site is made available via a code placed on the id. This allows me to keep my emergency contact and health information up-to-date without replacing the ID each time something changes. I spoke to the folks at RoadID about the reaction of emergency personnel, and they assured me that the interactive ID has been very well received.
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