Introduction

...plans are apparently made to be changed

I spent a fair amount of time dreaming of biking during the winter months of 2004. And of course I was planning bike tours in my dreams. Should I use all of my vacation time in one fabulous trip, or should I take a couple of shorter trips? I went back and forth between one large trip and two shorter trips, changing my mind often. But - I did finally make a decision. 2004 would be a three trip year - a long weekend in Nova Scotia in mid-June with a final day ride around Acadia National Park in Maine after the ferry returned me to the states, a week in Alberta traversing the Canadian Rockies from Jasper to Banff and then on to Calgary in late July, and a week in Hawaii in late October. I enjoyed riding around the Big Island so much in 2003 that I decided to do a variation of the same trip. I made all of the reservations for my dream trips, and I continued to wait for biking weather.

The weather finally turned into spring after what seemed like a longer than usual bad weather delay, and I started the biking season by commuting to work by bike. As of the third week in May, I had worked up from a bike commute of 1 to 2 days a week (weather permitting, what a baby!) to my summer 3 to 4 days a week.

And then May 20th happened. It was a bad day for me, and as you'll find out if you continue reading, I have absolutely no memory of May 20th, or the day after that...

Those vacation plans? Well the first two trips were immediately off, but I kept hoping that I could still ride in Hawaii in late October of 2004. It was time to wait, time to hope...

This journal is a bit different from my other journals. It is about biking, but it's not about a biking tour. It's about an accident I had on my bike as I was commuting to work one morning, and it's about my journey back to being able to ride and my journey back to preparing to tour again. If you're interested in my different kind of biking journey, please keep reading!

An anniversary that deserves notice

...and a bike ride as a fitting celebration

All I can say is wow! I can't believe an entire year has passed since my bike and I took our epic flip and fall. And I have to include the bike in that description since I've been told I was still attached to the bike when I finally ended up on the ground...

I had hoped to celebrate this anniversary by riding my bike to work for the first time since the crash. Unfortunately I woke up this morning to temperatures in the lower 40s and the forecast of afternoon rain. I briefly thought I'd ride anyway, but then I decided to hope (and plan) for an after work ride. I headed in to the office early enough to put a full day in and to leave early enough for a decent ride. And surprise! The morning coolness gave way to the nicest afternoon of the week. By the time I headed out on my bike it was in the mid-60s, and the clouds that were threatening for most of the day were gone. It was absolutely a beautiful afternoon for a ride.

Touring plans? I've been tossing ideas for tours around in my head as I work towards reclaiming what I consider to be good riding shape. When I foolishly asked how long it would take me to recover, the docs all gave me a timeframe of 6 to 12 months - and that really told me that no one really knew. It's been 12 months now, and I feel like I'm not quite back yet. Why do I feel this? Well, it's because the couple of times I've managed to do back to back 30+ mile days so far this spring, I've felt really tired on the third day. I can't say whether this is because I still have some recovery to do, or whether I should be blaming this on our very cool and wet spring getting in the way of my working up to the longer riding distances that I expect to do on a tour(50+ miles a day, figuring on 1 rest day a week). I suspect it's a combination of the two. But the funny thing is, when I look at the miles I've ridden so far this year and compare it to my pre-crash mileage from 2004 - it's almost an exact match. (Yes, you're right. I'm one of those crazy gals on a bike who insists on logging all of her mileage.) Maybe I should listen to my friends and family when they tell me I'm being too hard on myself.

And yes, I do know that it might make sense to try to plan a tour with lower mileage days!

Right now, all I can say is that I'm planning to tour somehwere this year. Well, hopefully two somewheres. I think a 4 or 5-day ride would be a great start, and I'd also like to do a longer tour later in the year. (And by longer I only mean 1 to 2 weeks since I still have to fit it in to my vacation time.)

When? I'm leaning toward the end of June for my re-introduction to touring, and the date for the second trip will likely depend somewhat on the location. Right now August or September feels like a possibility.

Where? I'm still undecided, but there are ideas percolating in my head. One of these days - hopefully soon - I'll make a decision!

And in the meantime I'm hoping that the weather wizard will start to bring me good weather for riding so I can get more mileage under my tires before I finalize my plans.

It's still time to dream, but it's time to plan too...

Healing progression in pictures

It's been six months since that fateful day back in May, and I was just looking through my pictures. I'm amazed that I have a photo collection of my healing process, and even more amazed that the pictures were all self-portraits, taken by my holding the camera in front on myself and just snapping away. It's nice that today's digital cameras can take decent photos with little human interaction (after all I did click to take the picture, but I certainly didn't help by composing the picture!)...

Things I've learned along the way

It's been an interesting journey!

Some thoughts and things I learned (mostly about myself) as I traveled the path to recovery...

There seem to be two of me involved in my recovery - the Denise who expects to be all better already, and the Denise who has a brain that seems to be a part of slowing her down. Yes, you're absolutely right, there is only one of me! My docs all tell me it's likely that it will take six to twelve months from that fateful accident day to return to what I consider to be my normal state. That's hard for me to accept, but I have a feeling that is my reality. And I still continue to expect too much of myself. Are you really surprised?

I'm more impatient than I used to be - or at least I don't know how to hide it anymore. Although I have to admit that a good deal of my impatience deals with the speed - or lack of speed - of my full recovery. As of August 10th, all things considered I'm in really good shape, but I'm not in the kind of shape I was in pre-accident. And of course that's where I want to be. And I can't wait until I'm ready to take off on my next bike tour!

Even though I know my healing body needs good nutrition, sometimes nothing sounds enticing. At those time my new staple food is a yogurt fruit shake. I use a hand-held blender - and I have to admit I don't know what I did before I owned it - and I mix up a half a cup of juice, a half to a whole cup of non-fat plain yogurt, and fruit, usually banana, strawberries, and blueberries. Yum! When the fresh berries disappear from the market I'll probably switch to frozen. I wonder if there's a non-power-driven version of the blender? These drinks would taste really good on a tour. Of course the blender isn't the only problem here - non-refrigerated yogurt probably wouldn't work too well either!

I've always appreciated good friends - including my immediate family who as far as I'm concerned fall into the good friends category too - and my friends were definitely there for me. And they are still there. Of course that includes my crazyguyonabike.com friends too. I heard from a lot of folks there, and all of the messages definitely lifted my spirits.

I'm very happy that I have good health insurance. I remember being out of work and between jobs the summer I rode across America. Since I was out of work and my employer had gone out of business, I didn't have employer-based health insurance available to me. I opted to pay my own way to make sure I was covered in the event of an accident. A number of people suggested that I leave a back-dated check just in case, but I was much more comfortable with knowing that I was covered. And based on my May 20th accident experience, I'm both happy that I have good insurance and convinced I did the right thing back in the summer of 2002. It's interesting; I have the ability to look at the insurance claims online, and I'm absolutely astounded at the cost of some of the services as well as the amount that the insurance company actually pays (much less than the billed amount!) - and pays in such a way that I'm not responsible for the balance. I believe that if I wasn't covered by insurance that I'd be responsible for the full amount - not the partial amount that the insurance company gets away with.

I have a new appreciation for what to send folks who are in the hospital. Flowers are beautiful, but how many does any one person need? Simple cards, notes, and emails were wonderful. Gifts of food - chocolate, cookies, and the nutritious variety were all greatly appreciated. Some of that was donated to my fellow patients and to the folks who were taking care of me. And I have a couple of new stuffed animals that make me smile... Oh wait, you already know about one of them - Biker Chick, the crazy red dog!

And here's something I already knew, and it's still true. Riding a bike and touring by bike are both important to me. I'm back on my bike, and I'm working at improving. And soon (I hope) I'll be ready to head out on my bike on a tour again. It probably won't be a soon as I'd like, but it's going to happen!

Still improving... those facial scars are still visible but definitely much improved. This photo was taken on September 19th, which is a bit over 4 months since the crash (or should I call it a head plant?)


This photo was taken on October 26th (in Hawaii, standing on lava that is from the spring 2003 flow - relatively new, all things considered). Scars? Yes, they are still visible, but improving - each month is better. That chain around my neck? Didn't I promise you that I'd wear my RoadID?

It's time to dream

...of next year as I continue to recover

It's hard to believe that it's been almost four months since that day in May when my bike and I went for a different kind of ride - and not the kind of ride that I'd like to repeat! I had hoped to recover enough to head off on a bike tour this year, but I think it's a smarter decision to allow my body the time it needs to heal.

My next tour? My heart is set on at least one tour in 2005. I had 3 short tours planned for 2004 that I had to cancel, so the easy way out is to use this year's plans for next year. But it's highly likely that I'll dream of someplace else to add to my touring dreams.

It's time to dream...

A holiday weekend

...means 3 days for riding & resting

Another week of working and not biking (on the week-days, that is) was capped off by a beautiful weekend with what I consider perfect cycling temperatures. I vote for more weather like this, and more 3-day weekends! I continued my habit of walking an hour to an hour and a half each day, and I'm definitely noticing the change in daylight. I wish we could keep the summer daylight around for a while longer, but I guess I'll have to adjust to walking in the evening as the daylight is disappearing, and to walking after it has disappeared, too!

It was a good week from a dizziness perspective. Maybe I shouldn't say anything - after all I don't want to jinx myself! But - while I still have times when I feel dizzy, I had no (all day) dizzy days last week, as contrasted to one the week before, and three just two short weeks ago. I think - I hope - that I'm moving in the right direction.


Ah, there are still some late summer blooms out there...


Beautiful sky as the sun is starting to slip away

Saturday dawned as a beautiful day. I needed a change of pace, and the weather was definitely cooperating, so I loaded my bike into the car and headed for the coast. I found a free parking lot in Seabrook Beach, New Hampshire - so that became the starting point for my ride. It was going to be an out-and-back ride, so I needed to guess what my body would be happy with as a mileage total for the day. If I was still full of energy when I got back to the car I figured I could continue to head south for a bit further, and then turn around again. That turned out not to be a problem though. I rode 14 miles north, and then as the road started to wander away from the coast I figured that was a good point to turn around. A total of 28 miles was good for the day. I always enjoy riding next to the ocean although riding through Hampton Beach once in a day is really enough. It's a typical beach town with a fair amount of traffic, and it was on my route twice - out-and-back, no way to avoid it! The ride was definitely a nice change of pace for me. I'll have to wander off on different roads more often...








It's too bad that this sign and the resulting totally free bike lane only existed for a couple of miles of my route today. It would be awesome to have a dedicated bike lane / open shoulder along the entire coastal route. But I guess I have to be satisfied with a couple of miles as a start.


I'm sure the sea gulls think they own this building!

Sunday and Monday were beautiful days too, with temperatures that were just about perfect for riding, in the high 60s. I could live in this weather indefinitely - too bad the weather doesn't listen to me! I stayed close to home both days, riding loops, putting in 22 miles on Sunday and 23 on Monday, and wandering down some new roads too. My energy level still isn't supporting expanding my rides into longer rides and I know I have to accept that for now. I'll keep riding every weekend though...

It's funny, people who don't bicycle think my little 22 to 28 miles rides are long. When I was chatting with my neighbors earlier today they were very surprised when I told them that at this time in a normal season I can happily ride 50 to 75 miles without even thinking about it. They were somewhat shocked and told me that they consider my current ride length to be long. I know I'm doing what I can physically handle right now, but I still think in the overall scheme of things that my current rides are pretty short!

Decision time

...for my next tour

My decision is made, and the pressure is off. I gave myself until the end of August to decide whether my planned October trip to Hawaii would be a bike tour as planned, or would be something else. I've really been fighting this one, because I'd like to do it as a bike tour - of course! But reality has finally jumped in. I'm still going to Hawaii, but it's going to be a trip without a bike. I thought about three different options.

The first option was to do the trip as planned, as a solo bike tour around the island. Looking back at distances from last year's tour, this includes three days that I think would be a big challenge to me in my current condition - two days between 50 and 60 miles that have a few long uphills in them, and one day of 40+ miles that is all uphill. At this point in my recovery, I'm a long way from a 50 to 60 mile day, to say nothing of the hills. And while two months is definitely enough time to prepare for a trip like this one when I'm in what I'd consider to be normal physical state, it just doesn't feel like reality to me right now. I wasn't too concerned about the extra weight on the bike from carrying my gear since I'd already decided to do this trip with just 2 panniers (the smaller front panniers carried on the rear rack) and a minimum of gear.

The second option was to take my bike but to find some compromise to riding around the island on my own. That could be to use the bike for day rides, or to link up with a tour operator so I'd have the option of taking a lift if I needed one along with the side benefit of having someone carry my gear for me. Somehow neither of these options really appealed to me. Day rides would likely end up being out and back rides, and while that definitely counts as riding, it just doesn't appeal to me as a substitute for a tour. And touring with a group isn't where my head it at either right now. So while I did take a little time to consider these compromise options, my decision was to change the trip entirely.

My decision? To take the third option, which is to go to Hawaii without my bike. I don't think anyone will disagree that the Big Island of Hawaii is a wonderful destination, even without a bicycle. I'll still be wandering around the island and I can't imagine taking a vacation that doesn't involve some physical activity. I'm sure I'll do some hiking in Hawaii Volcanoes National Park and in some other spots around the island. Maybe I'll spend a little rest time on a beach. Maybe I'll do something different like find a place to rent a kayak and do a little paddling in the ocean. Maybe...

Back to biking

OK, this journal is really about biking, and I haven't forgotten that. This week was another week of biking only on the weekend. I'm still managing to walk every day that I don't have the time or energy to ride my bike, but I still haven't figured out how to get enough sleep and get myself up early enough to ride my bike before work. And the daylight hours are noticeably starting to shrink as the end of the summer approaches.

Saturday, August 28th: Hot, humid, no energy...

When I headed to sleep Friday night I was planning (hoping) to wander over to the coast with my bike on Saturday morning. I was going to enlist the aid of my fossil-fuel powered vehicle to get my bike to the edge of New Hampshire for an out and back ride. Those plans were apparently just not meant to be. Friday night was a bad sleep night for me. I managed to sleep for two and a half hours, wake for 2 hours, and then sleep for another two and a half hours. Ouch! Five hours of sleep just doesn't support an active lifestyle. I've been having sleep problems, but Saturday was the first day I actually tried to do any physical activity after one of those exceptionally bad sleep nights. And I have to tell you, it really wasn't a good idea. I headed out on my bike in the mid-morning, and I think I knew right away that it wasn't going to be a good riding day. If I'd been smart, I would have just turned around and headed back home. But the Denise who wants to be all better and back to normal was apparently in charge, so I kept on biking. I managed 18 very slow miles on the bike. Next time I feel like that, hopefully I'll know better and will turn around much sooner.

It wasn't just that it was a hot, humid day, and it wasn't just biking. I felt like I was moving at half-speed when I went for a walk after dinner - but at least I was smart enough to cut the walk short!

Sunday, August 29th: What a difference a day makes!

And what a difference a good night's sleep makes! I have to admit, I cheated and took a sleeping pill last night after I was having trouble falling asleep yet again. I had headed to bed early, and after all it's the weekend, so I knew that if the pill kept me sleeping past my normal waking hour it really didn't matter.

Sunday dawned hot and humid again, but I was much closer to my current version of normal. Riding was again a much more reasonable and enjoyable activity. I decided to ride close to home, just in case I had guessed wrong and the heat yesterday had something to do with my lack of energy. It didn't, and my 26-mile loop was a good ride.

Funny, I was stopped along the side of the road in Harold Parker State forest - it was a good time for a snack - when two mountain bikers came out of the woods. They crossed the road to get to the continuation of the trail they were on, and I wondered what they were going to do to cross the large log that blocked their way. One of the riders did what I would have needed to do - and that is to go around the end of the log. The other attempted to ride over it, and only made it half way. That is, the front wheel cleared the log, but he apparently didn't have the momentum or the jump-ability to get the rear wheel over too. He stopped and put his foot down - no fall today!

I still haven't been successful at managing a ride longer than the mid-20 mile range. I know it will come, and I know that I eventually will return to my normal self. And now that I've taken the pressure off of myself by accepting that my next tour won't be until 2005, it's a little easier for me to accept my current mileage limitation.

A quiet week, a storm on Saturday

...and a beautiful riding day dawns on Sunday

No weekday riding again this week... I have to do something about that situation soon! There's still enough light in the evenings to get in a short ride, but by the end of the work day my energy level doesn't match what I'd need for a ride. For now, it's going to have to be in the morning - and I haven't mastered (or should I say re-mastered?) the early to bed, early to rise times that I'll need to pull this off. Soon.

It was a slightly improved sleep week in that I only had one night with that unacceptable 5 hours of sleep instead of the two nights I had last week. Unfortunately, that one short night was followed by a couple of days of dizziness. A small step forward in the sleep department, and a step backwards in getting rid of those dizzy days. I've started tracking both things to see if I can find a pattern, but nothing is jumping out at me so far. I guess this is just the post-accident version of Denise that the real version is trying to erase!

Saturday, August 21st was a good day for hiding indoors

The weather forecast for Saturday was for torrential rain, so I woke up thinking it would be a day without cycling. A downpour woke me at 4:30 AM - just in time to retrieve the still dry newspaper from its (plastic-wrapped) spot in the middle of the rain. I luckily fell asleep again, and awoke to a very wet day. In the afternoon, the sky grew lighter, and the pavement started drying out. I thought it was worth trying a short ride. I headed out on my bike, but I didn't get too far before the thunder started to sound pretty serious and it started to rain. I thought about continuing in the light rain, but given the increased sound of thunder I turned around and headed for home. I put the bike in its usual shelter - in the dry garage - and changed into walking togs. I headed out again - on foot this time - and luckily I was carrying an umbrella. After I'd been out only 10 minutes, an incredible downpour started. Even with the umbrella I was soaked when I got home. I'm very glad that I wasn't out on my bike in that downpour since the rain was coming down so hard that it was very hard to see, and the wind was definitely making its presence known too.

And Sunday, August 22nd was an excellent day for wandering on a bike

I'd have to say that Sunday's weather was perfect for cycling. I woke to a clear sky, little wind, and a favorite temperature range. It was probably in the high 60s or low 70s (Fahrenheit) when I was out on my bike - which I consider to be pretty close to perfect. I thought about driving to the coast so I could ride along the ocean, but laziness intervened. I couldn't convince myself that I wanted to drive 45 minutes to an hour to ride a short distance and then have to drive back again. I'll need beat that lazy feeling soon because I think I'm getting close to needing a change of scenery.

I wandered on roads close to home again, managing a 27 mile ride. I started out on one of my reverse loops - riding a loop I've done often, but in the reverse direction. Switching direction sometimes even makes the ride feel like a new one. It didn't today, so at one point I wandered off down a road I've never ridden before. It was amazing because it switched very quickly from a quiet wooded neighborhood to just woods. As I continued down the road I started to wonder if I was going to need to turn around to find my way home again since as usual I was wandering without a map. I kept going, and eventually met up with a road that I recognized. A nice diversion, and it turned out to be a road I will definitely follow again in the future.

The chipmunks managed to amuse me as I wandered on my bike. They managed to run across the road to find new trees to climb as I passed by. I definitely prefer the chipmunks "run and hide" behavior to the squirrels who seem to like to play suicide games with my bike. Luckily - for my sanity - only the chipmunks were out on Sunday!



Hey - it's only August! This tree seems to have its autumn clock turned on a bit too early. Beautiful, but I'm not ready for summer to be over!


The view to the side of the road. That mystery road was definitely a good choice.


And more beautiful wildflowers along the side of the road. Oh, you think these are weeds and they aggravate allergies? Yes, but I still think they are beautiful!

A not enough sleep week

...with a beautiful but short Saturday ride, and a Sunday storm day

I started this week by thinking that I'd try to manage one or two bike rides during the week in addition to my normal weekend rides. The rides would need to be before work, and since I'm already heading in to work later than normal, I thought I'd need to get up earlier in order to keep about the same start time at the office. I set the alarm for 6 o'clock Tuesday morning, hoping to get a ride in before work. Unfortunately it turned out that I still needed that extra hour and a half for sleeping, so the morning rides just didn't happen this week. I am still walking on the days when I don't ride - 25 to 30 minutes before work, 15 to 20 minutes at lunchtime, and 30 to 40 minutes after dinner. At least that's some exercise even though it's not my preferred cycling. I guess I was dreaming, thinking that I was ready to add some weekday rides. Sometimes I think I'm accepting my slow recovery, but more often than not I know that I'm not. Yes, I'm doing well all things considered - but I want to be doing more now. OK, I know it's still going to be a slow trip back! You'd think I'd be used to this by now, wouldn't you?

It was another week with some not enough sleep nights. Tuesday and Thursday nights were both 5-hour sleep nights, definitely not enough for my body which still seems to want a minimum of 9 hours - even though 8 is a lot more normal for me and much more achievable right now. Wednesday? Well, I gave up much faster this week and took a sleeping pill. So I had two bad sleep nights sandwiched around a good sleep night. Saturday night was one more example of what I would consider a non-optimal night of sleep. I fell asleep at 10:30 but woke up at 12:30 and was awake for the next two hours before I managed to get another 5 hours of sleep, 7 1/2 hours total. I wonder how I can get my body to stop this nonsense; it's certainly not listening to me!

Saturday, August 14th was a beautiful day for biking

Saturday was a 20-something mile day (26 actually), and I have to say it was a beautiful day for cycling. I'm amazed that I'm able to do so many relatively short rides that are not repeating the same territory on each ride. Although I usually head out and return on the same roads, the bulk of each ride wanders different roads. Not every time of course, but at least I'm not repeating the same route each time I go out. I saw quite a few other cyclists on Saturday, many of whom were on a club ride that happened to coincide with part of my route. At one point a woman came up behind me and let me know that I was about to miss a turn. I laughed and told her that I was out on my own, not out with a group, and that I was planning to go straight - and it turned out that she was on her own too. Funny...

The sun was a part of my ride; it didn't disappear until later in the day, a signal of the storm to come.


Yet another quiet road. And yes, this is normal on many of the back roads around here.


Beautiful wildflowers along the edge of the North Andover town water supply

And Sunday unfortunately was a non-biking day

I didn't plan it that way although it turned out to be one of my dizzy days, so maybe I should be glad the weather didn't cooperate and produce a good riding day. Hurricane Charley managed to turn into a tropical storm before it hit New England, but it still brought a very gray, cool day along with light rain for most of the day. The forecast was for the storm to pass through with clearing in the afternoon, but that didn't happen. I took a walk in the rain this morning but my after-dinner walk was under still gray but dry skies.

A tired week ends with...

Glorious weekend weather, and two good biking days

Wow! All I can say about the work week is that it was combination of a very interesting week at work and a week of not enough sleep. But when it was finished, I'd managed to fit in two nice biking days. The biking is still not the mileage that I'd like, but I have to admit I felt much better at the end of the rides than I have in past weeks.

On the work front... (For those that don't know me, I work for a small (and young) software company.) Well, this week a new version of our product with major new functionality was released internally for testing. I have to admit that there were several times that I wondered if after effects of that knock on my head really existed and were getting in my way. I realized quickly that it wasn't me - my colleagues who didn't fall off of their bikes (hey - many of them don't even ride bikes!) had the same reaction as I did as we first encountered the new and very cool procduct features. I have to say that we all laughed a lot as we embarked on learning and testing the new functionality.

Not enough sleep? Well, my sleep problem started Monday night, when I couldn't fall asleep until 2AM. That meant I started out with only five hours of sleep, when at this point I think I need a solid nine hours. That five hour night was followed by two seven hour nights, at which point I reached out for the crutch of a sleeping pill. When the weekend finally rolled around I'd managed two nights of that magic number of nine hours of sleep, so my body was ready to hit the road on my bike. That's a really good thing because the weekend brought glorious weather for biking. Saturday dawned partly cloudy and relatively cool for August with temperatures in the high 60's and low 70's. Sunday? Well, it was sunny and started out with temperatures in the low 50's, warming into the 70's. By my way of thinking, that's perfect biking weather.

I have to admit that my slow pace and lack of capacity for long rides have both been frustrating me. I'm continuing to ride from home rather than drive somewhere to start my ride, which would allow me to see something different for a change. Riding from home means that if I'm tired at the end of the ride I don't have to deal with driving. Soon I'm going to need to use my car to give me a boost to a different place to ride. For this weekend, I decided to take my camera with me to give myself a different focus. I still rode near home, but with the camera I was more on the lookout for interesting sights.

Biking! 27 miles on Saturday, August 7th

I headed out on my road bike - the bike that I was riding on May 20th - for the first time since my crash. I've been riding my touring bikes, and I have to admit I was wondering if my slow speed had anything to do with the slightly fatter tires on the touring bikes. I really knew the answer before I headed out today - of course the two things are unrelated. My speed today remained where it has been since I resumed riding - at about 12 and a half miles per hour. That speed feels good when I'm touring and hauling gear with me, but somehow when I'm just wandering around with an unloaded bike it feels slow. No matter, at least I'm riding! Of course I've never been a fast rider, but my previous normal pace was usually between 14 and 15 miles per hour. I was right about taking the camera with me and stopping to take pictures because for some reason I didn't mind the slower pace. Then again, maybe I'm just getting used to it!

It was a good riding day, and I saw a lot of other people out on the road on bicycles. I wanted to scream at the folks I saw who weren't wearing helmets but I stayed in my own world and just kept pedaling. Most of the cyclists I saw were wearing helmets, but the ones who bothered me the most were the folks riding with children where none of the group had a helmet on their heads. And the other people that really make me wonder are the family groups where the children are wearing helmets but the adults are bare-headed. That just makes no sense at all.



Hmmm... due to the wonder of digital photography (and sunglasses!), the red areas that still remain on my face are hidden. A wonderful day to be wandering on a bike - relatively cool (in the low 70s), more sun than clouds but enough clouds to make the sky look interesting.


A quiet road not too far from home


These flowers are everywhere - love the color!


One of the ponds in Harold Parker State Forest.

Biking again! 24 miles on Sunday, August 8th

It was yet another beautiful day for biking. My body said 24 miles was enough today even though my head kept telling me to keep on going. But I behaved - it was time to stop for the day. Having the camera with me helped though since it gave me an excuse to stop more often.

Yesterday I saw a lot of other cyclists on the road, both singles, and groups. It's funny, but today I only saw one other person on a bike. Where do you suppose everyone is hiding? I suppose one reason is that I headed through the center of Lawrence on part of my ride, and I don't think that's a prime biking location. But I was on neighborhood and back roads of Andover for most of my ride, so I don't have a clue where my fellow cyclists were.

It was a funny dog day... I must have headed out this morning at a prime dog-walking time because as I was riding through the neighborhood behind my condo I saw a lot of four-legged friends wandering with their owners. And yes, the dogs were all on leashes, so it wasn't a bad dog-bicycle day. One dog really made me smile. It was a small Scottish Terrier, enjoying his walk by riding in his owner's arms! It really made me smile because Brandy - the miniature dachshund who owns my parents (oh, it's the other way around?) does that to my mother. He starts out walking, but there are those times that he gets a ride back home!

I had fun watching the chipmunks on my ride today. This year seems to be the year of the chipmunks and squirrels. I have to say I prefer the chipmunks because they don't seem to pull the nonsense that the squirrels do. A couple of rides ago, a squirrel paused on its journey across the road when it saw me on my bike. It then ran in front of the bike - then turned around and did it again. My overactive imagination tells me that hitting a squirrel with my bike would not be a good thing, and that I'd be likely to wind up on the ground. Hey you crazy squirrels, let's not do that. Why don't you take a sanity lesson from the chipmunks?

The temperature was absolutely perfect today - it was in the high 60s when my bike and I ventured out, and although I think it increased while I was out it was probably only by a couple of degrees. But it was very windy. At first when I was slowly riding into the wind I thought my slowness was self-imposed but as soon as I turned I was riding at more of my (current) normal speed. I'd happily take more days like this one!

Overall, it was a good riding weekend. My rides are still shorter than I'd like, but they were good rides.

Oh, and that dizziness? Well, it's still there, but at least I didn't have any totally bad days this week. I still can't find a trigger for it. In fact, after my ride on Sunday I realized that I hadn't felt it at all that day. Unfortunately about a half hour later I was dizzy again, and that feeling pretty much stayed with me for the rest of the day. At least it didn't start earlier so I was able to get my ride in!


Great clock tower on an old mill building in Lawrence


The emergency room at Lawrence General Hospital - the start of my hospital tour back on May 20th. (Sorry, I couldn't resist...)


Along the canal --- still in Lawrence

A hot & windy weekend

...made just for riding!

I'm still trying. I'm still riding. But maybe I'm finally accepting my slower pace and shorter rides. OK, I say I'm accepting it, but somehow I forget that acceptance in my next breath!

I rode 22 miles on Saturday, and 23 miles on Sunday. I'm still not making progress on increasing my mileage - but at least I'm riding! I've started doing a couple of overlapping loops - just so I know I'm not too far from home if I get to a point where I need to stop. It's an interesting exercise... I'm riding in areas that I typically ride in early season - at this time of the season I'm usually doing rides that are much more far-reaching. To keep from getting bored, I'm doing pieces of rides in the opposite direction than I usually ride them (tell me, how is it that habit keeps me from reversing direction more often?), and I'm wandering down streets I've never ridden before. As in - the road I was planning to take is under construction - I wonder where this other road ends up. So far my mystery roads have not taken me too far off my desired path, and I've discovered some nice riding roads in the process.

It feels great to be out on a bike - now all I have to do is figure out how to get back to the shape I was in before. And the funny thing is, I think I have to say it's not under my total control. That is, I believe it's under the control of my brain, but not any part that I can influence!

I realized today that there is one pain that seems to be gone, although it won't surprise me too much if it pops back up again when I start riding longer distances. Once that broken pelvic bone healed, I was still left with some pain, especially if I overdid the walking. I was warned that biking (or should I say sitting on a bike seat) would probably bother me - but it never did. And hopefully I won't jinx myself by saying that the pain has disappeared. Now if only my energy levels and abilty to bike long distances would return...

A bit of a reality check

Does slow progress = the ability to head out with my bike for a late October tour?

Progress on the biking front seems to be at a standstill. Right now I seem to be stuck at rides between 20 and 25 miles, and I've pretty much been able to ride only on the weekends. So what does that mean for my planned last week of October trip to Hawaii? I have to admit, at this point I really don't know. When I look back on last year's trip, there are a few long riding days - two days of 55 to 60 miles that both include some signifcant stretches of uphill riding, and one day of 42 miles that is all uphill heading from sea level to the rim of the crater in Hawaii Volcanoes National Park. I'm still working toward being able to take the trip as planned - as a tour of the Big Island by bicycle. I know at this point that the trip is really a big reach, but I'm not ready to give up yet. I think I can wait until the end of August to see where I'm at then from a biking standpoint - but that's probably going to be decision time for me. If I haven't made significant progress toward increasing my biking mileage by then, I think the trip may morph into a hiking and resting trip, and I'll change my reservations accordingly. I'm still hoping...

Right now I'm trying to deal with the continued dizziness problem. I went to see an otolaryngologist to see if he could help. He's a biker too - and he told me that he thinks October is probably really pushing it and that it may be more reasonable to plan a mid-winter trip. I finally realized that I should probably keep track of those bad days... I have some dizziness every day - it's the days that I have nothing but dizziness that concern me. Having one of those in the middle of a trip would not be a good thing since on those days I try to stay away from my bike. To attempt to ride a bike while feeling dizzy doesn't sound like a good idea to me, although so far I haven't had even an occasional dizzy spell hit while I was riding. I think I said this before, but I'll ask it again - do you think that means I should spend more time on my bicycle?

To be honest, I do want to spend more time on my bicycle, but there are only a limited number hours in the day. I could use a longer day to accommodate my need for an extended number of hours of sleep along with all of the normal activities that need to be included in my waking hours. I've been working much closer to full-time, which unfortunately doesn't leave me with much time for riding during the week. I've managed to continue walking every day - split into a walk before work and a walk after dinner. While I can happily walk for a half of an hour, the same length bike ride just doesn't work for me. (Tell me, am I being too fussy?) With two shorter walks I'm managing between an hour and an hour and a half of walking on the days that I don't ride. For now my riding has been mainly limited to the weekends, but I really need to figure out how to fit in a few rides on weekdays too. After close to a full day at work, I don't have the energy for a ride after I get home. So rides during the week (fow now, anyhow) need to be in the morning before work. The problem is I that need to wake up earlier... and that doesn't seem to be possible right now. Sleep is good, and I think I need more sleep than I'm getting. I continue to have problems falling asleep, with occasional nights where I wake up in the middle of the night and am unable to fall asleep again for several hours.

Recovery is a slow process

...even though I want it to be fast

It was another week full of walking, with no biking until the weekend. While I'd like to ride during the week too, I'm getting closer to putting in full days at work, and I haven't yet figured out how to fit both in with the extended amount of sleep that my body seems to require! What - you think my priority should be biking? You're probably right, but I am being paid to work, so I really have to balance things!

Tuesday I had an appointment with my doc Laurie to try to get to the bottom of my dizziness. I know, I know, I'm just a dizzy person. No, not really! Besides the dizziness, I talked to her about my planned biking trip to Hawaii at the end of October. She may be being conservative, but when I told her the distances and terrain of a couple of my planned days, she thought I might be over-reaching my capabilities and reminded me that it could take between 6 and 12 months for me to fully recover. Hmmm... Do I need to think about alternative vacation plans? I think I can wait to see my progress at the end of August. If I can comfortably increase my biking mileage between now and then I think (or is it that I want to think) that Hawaii will work out OK as a biking trip. If I'm stuck - as far as progress is concerned - I may need to rethink the trip. Options: to switch to a fossil-fuel-based vehicle as my transportation and to still take a bike to do day trips, or to not take a bike and turn it into a hiking and relaxing vacation. Or to push it out to a timeframe when biking will be reasonable (like the spring). If I push the biking trip into next year I think I need to find somewhere else to visit in the October timeframe. In spite of my being missing in action for a while at work - that wasn't a vacation, and I think I'll need one by then! On the dizziness front - she referred me to an otolarygologist to see if he can help, and I set up an appointment for next week. In the meantime I guess I'll just have to put up with the dizziness when it occurs, and I'll continue to hope that I don't have too many of those really bad dizzy days.

When the weekend rolled around, I was a bit short on sleep. I thought I was getting over my sleeping problems, but apparently I was wrong. Friday night, I fell asleep right away. End of problem, right? Not really - unfortunately I woke up at 2am and stayed awake until 5. Someone (something?) is trying to make me nuts! I watched the time trial in the Tour de France in morning then took a 1-hour nap since 5 hours of sleep just wasn't going to work for me. I grabbed some lunch and headed off for a ride. It was too wet to ride in the morning anyway - there was a very big rain storm overnight with rainfall ranging from 2 to 3 inches around here! It was dry by the time I wandered out on my bike though... It was a short ride day - only 17 miles - of wandering through the area near my house. I was still tired when I headed out, so I continued my current habit of doing some small loops that don't venture too far from home. That way if I feel the need to head home in the middle of my ride, I'm don't have too far to ride.

On Sunday I managed a 24-mile ride. I can't seem to break through the mid-20-mile ride length. An artificial barrier? I don't think so - it's likely related to the stage I'm at in my recovery.

A step backward, a step forward

...and a weekend made for riding

I guess I knew there would be ups and downs to this recovery exercise...

It was an interesting week. Weatherwise it was very wet, which may have been a good thing because it forced me to take a break. Maybe I'm being too hard on myself.

Monday and Tuesday were pretty good days. My days were spent working, splitting the time between the office and working at home. My exercise for both days - walking. While I don't mind walking in the rain, I'm still not too excited about riding in the rain, and since I have an option because I'm not traveling, I opted for foot travel as my exercise.

Wednesday was a bad day overall. I woke up feeling extremely dizzy, and because of that feeling I didn't feel capable of driving anywhere. I did very little work, all of it from home. At one point I thought I should take a walk, so I headed outside. I didn't get too far from my front door when I realized that there was probably a fairly good chance that I was going to fall and hit the ground. Not a good idea, so I headed back inside. No walk today...

Thursday was the day of the doctor's appointment from hell. OK, OK, I know that's probably not totally fair. It was my long-awaited followup appointment with the neurosurgeon - the one that was delayed for two weeks. Mass General is a teaching hospital, and I expected the visit to be with a resident. But it turned out to be with a more junior doc than I expected. I believe that the appointment was just a means of closing out the hospital visit, but of course I was also trying to get a clue to my continued dizziness. I'd like to figure out how not to have more days like Wednesday. When I mentioned my dizziness, the doc suggested that I make an appointment with my primary care physician to have my blood pressure checked. Hmmm... Couldn't he have checked it for me? He pointed out to me that they wouldn't do surgery for light-headedness. Silly me, I thought that a neurosurgeon could help me understand a condition left by my brain injury. Of course I found it interesting that when he came back from consulting with the doc whose name was on my appointment, he told me that the condition was probably a "concussive effect" from the accident. I already knew it was related to my injuries! Needless to say, I wasn't happy with his non-answers. And I'm well aware that there might not be any answers and that this may be something I have to live with for a while. But in the meantime I did make an appointment for next week to see my own doctor, who is an absolute gem. Maybe she can give me some tips on how to deal with (improve?) my continued dizziness.

On Friday I was pretty much back to my current version of normal. I headed into the office for a part of the day, then came home and finished my work day here. It was another walking day...

Wait, isn't biking the point of this journal? Of course it is!

The weekend finally rolled around with a wonderful, sunny Saturday morning. But it's a mountain stage in the Tour de France, and somehow I've managed to get hooked on watching the race. If I was at my normal energy level - before accident, that is - I would have headed out for a long ride early this morning and I would have watched the race replay at night. Since I'm not up to a long ride at this point I chose to watch the race as it unfolded. Then it was time for some food - got to keep those calories coming in - and time to head out on my bike. I ran out of energy after only 12 miles - a first for me - so I stopped to pick up another bottle of Gatorade and an ice cream sandwich. I have a habit of taking 2 water bottles with me when I ride around home - one filled with water and one filled with Gatorade. On short rides, it seems like water should be sufficient, but that's not working for me right now. And on Saturday it appeared that I needed two bottles of Gatorade, not one! The total mileage for my Saturday ride was 24 miles - a short ride in the overall scheme of things, but a long ride at this stage of my recovery.

I had a very strange wildlife encounter on my Saturday ride. There was a groundhog sitting in the middle of the driving lane on one of the quiet back roads. I didn't even realize what it was until I was pretty close, and I was close to the right edge of the road. The groundhog was definitely in the middle of the driving lane. As I rode by it started making what I assume were groundhog noises, and also started moving towards me. I was glad I was on the bike and above the level of its teeth! The bike probably scared him, but I definitely wasn't ready for an animal encounter!

Ah, Sunday, another biking day... I managed a 22 mile ride, not spectacular from a distance standpoint - but I did say that I would work up to distance slowly. And my body seems to be forcing that issue. 22 miles was more than enough today. Bummer.

On the one hand I got two good rides in over the weekend. On the other, I really wanted to do more. I know I have to accept what I'm managing as progress, but my impatience is definitely bubbling over!

Time to figure it out

...balancing healing, work, and bicycling

It's been seven and a half weeks since my crash, and that's really hard for me to believe. I'm trying hard to get back to normal as soon as possible, and everyone - family, friends, and co-workers - is telling me that I'm too hard on myself. Maybe, but maybe not. After all, how will I improve and get back to normal without pushing myself? And remember, for me normal includes biking - it's an important part of my life! I'm still trying to figure out what to do to help myself become closer to the Denise that I'm used to. Maybe writing down what I did from an exercise standpoint for the past week will help me to figure out how to help myself improve.

Monday, July 5th --- no biking, walk: 75 minutes
Monday was a tired day for me. I clearly overdid the biking over the weekend, and luckily it was a somewhat wet weather day on Monday so I wasn't tempted to overdo it again.

Tuesday, July 6th --- Bike: 16 miles, walk: 50 minutes
In addition to getting back to biking, I'm also getting back to work. I spent 3 hours in the office and worked at home for probably the same amount of time. My walks today were a short walk in the morning, and another short walk after dinner with a stop at Starbucks for my evening decaf iced Americano. I took a bike ride at the end of my work day - a total of 16 miles, still at a very slow pace, so I'll count it at an hour and 15 minutes. Ouch! I've always been a relatively slow rider - but I've always been able to ride as far as I wanted. I wonder if my current slow speed will improve? To be honest, the time isn't what I'm working on - it's the endurance.

Wednesday, July 7th --- Bike: 15 miles, walk: 30 minutes
I was tired this morning, had trouble falling asleep last night. So what else is new? (OK, OK, it's new since the accident!) I turned the light out at 11, but the last time I looked at the clock it was about 12:30. I set the alarm for 7:30 and actually got up at 8. The alarm? I'm trying to retrain my body to sleep somewhat normal hours (for me that is). If I had been able to sleep from 11 to 7:30, that's 8 1/2 hours. My healing body appears to need between 9 and 10 hours of sleep, but I'm not OK with sleeping until 10AM to make up for not falling asleep at night. I'm hoping that if I continue to get up at a somewhat normal hour that my brain will get the hint that it's supposed to sleep at night. And I say somewhat because 7:30 just doesn't cut it if I want to exercise before work - or ride my bike to work! Because I woke up feeling tired, I opted to work at home today. I did manage to get in a late afternoon bike ride. I was still tired, but I felt like I needed to get moving. My ride was on neighborhood streets, not too far from home. It consisted of lots of small loops so I could get home easily if I misjudged myself and was really tired. Not so!

Thursday, July 8th --- No biking, walk: 70 minutes
I went to sleep last night at 10:30 - after the telecast of the Tour de France time trial - and set the alarm for 7:30 this morning. I headed into the office after breakfast and a 30-minute walk. I worked at my office today from 9:30 to 2:15, which is an improvement in time, but I knew it was time to head home when I started feeling dizzy. I drove home in an absolute downpour so today for a change I was glad I hadn't ridden my bike to work. I managed to spend some more time working once I got home, but I didn't ride today. It was time for a much-needed rest!

Friday, July 9th --- Bike: 16 miles, walk: 65 minutes
I had every intention of going to the office again today, but I was tired and a bit dizzy when I woke up so it turned into a work at home day. I guess I'm going to have to get used to being dizzy because it seems to be a relatively common condition for me lately. My morning dizziness did seem to abate by mid-afternoon and I didn't feel like I was risking falling, so I headed out for a 16-mile bike ride.

Saturday, July 10th --- Bike: 26 miles, walk: 40 minutes
Today was a day devoted to bicycles. I picked up my repaired and tuned up Pocket Rocket at the bike shop this morning. It was actually ready on Tuesday, but I didn't manage to drive over there before today... all better. I did a 26 mile ride this afternoon. It felt good, but I was definitely tired toward the end. I had no pain until I got off the bike - then I noticed soreness in my pelvis when I was walking. Funny - is that bone soreness, or are the muscles somehow involved? Time for a snack and a shower. Afterwards, as I sat watching a late broadcast of today's Tour de France I started feeling dizzy - or maybe I should say off balance. That feeling persisted for the rest of the day. It's a feeling I think I have to get used to. Not terrible, just not normal. I wonder if my body is trying to tell me I did too much today?

Sunday, July 11th --- Bike: 24 miles, walk: 45 minutes
I started today by watching the live coverage of the Tour de France. Then it was time for some more food before I headed out on my bike. It was a good ride although I started to feel tired at around 20 miles. At that point I had to ride another four miles to get home. After a shower and a snack - yes, eating again - I started to feel dizzy. I wonder why I don't feel that way on my bike... maybe I should ride further! Seriously though, that's probably not a great idea. I think continuing to increase my time on the bike slowly is the right idea.

So what did I learn?
It's becoming clear to me that I expect more of myself than is reasonable at this stage of my recovery. Luckily, no one else expects the same. No, I'm not back at work full-time yet. And I'm not in the kind of cycling shape I expect to be in by this point in the summer. I want to be back, and I don't know how long it will take to get there. I hope that my body is ready for my planned end-of-October trip to Hawaii. (Oops, I keep saying that, don't I?) There are certainly worse places to go for a non-biking vacation, but I have my heart set on biking it again.

I have to admit I'm beginning to come to the conclusion that being somewhat dizzy is a fact of life for me right now. But it's funny - I don't feel dizzy on the bike. I wonder if that's related to the fact that I don't attempt to start a ride if I'm already feeling dizzy. But the fact remains that I usually have absolutely no warning before the dizziness starts, and I have yet to find a pattern of behavior that causes the problem. I do feel somewhat dizzy within a short period of time after I get off of the bike, but so far no problems when I'm riding. I guess that's a good thing. And hey - maybe that means I should spend more time on the bike. (I know, I know - that's not smart, and I'm not going to try it. My plan is to continue to work up to longer rides. Just a thought...)

I seem to have lost the concept of a rest day - at this point I don't think walking for an hour really designates a rest. I feel like I need to walk (rather than have an absolute rest day) to help maintain my sanity. But I probably really do need real rest days every so often. I think about driving to the coast and sitting in the shade reading and watching the waves. But - that's a drive, and I'm trying not to do any extensive driving either. Wait - something's got to give here!


I'm starting to look pretty normal - if you don't look too closely, that is! There are still some red patches on my face, and there's still swelling above my right eye, but at this point that swelling is more evident to me than it is to anyone else.

A welcome rainy day

...means somewhat of a rest for my tired body

My start back to cycling on July 3rd was followed by another busy day on the 4th.

My friends Barb & Harvey came over with their dog Daphne and we headed out for an hour and a half hike through Harold Parker State Forest. We walked mostly on what was once a dirt road, but is now much narrower than a road and a is bit more like a wide trail. On the way back Harvey detoured onto a side path to avoid totally repeating the trail we'd already walked, but after a few minutes I decided that the narrow path was too uneven for me and headed back the way we came in. After all, I figured I didn't want to risk a fall and injuries of any kind at this stage in my recovery. We finished our hike with a nice lunch at The Vineyard , a wine store and deli within walking distance of my house. No wine - just food!

Home again in the early afternoon... and here I go again! I took a shower to wash off the bug stuff from our hike, and finally took the time to read the Sunday paper - I didn't read it at my usual time in the morning since I was too caught up watching the Tour de France. It was a beautiful day - sunny, a bit windy, decent temperatures.

OK, OK, my bike was calling me again! I headed out on my bike again, and this time managed a ride of 19 miles. It was a slow riding day, and I honestly don't know if my slow speed was due to the wind, or due to the fact that I was probably reaching out past the edge of what I should be doing. I suspect that it was an edge condition... The thing is, the only way I know to improve is to do a bit more every day. For the past two weeks I've been walking an hour to an hour and a half a day. On Saturday, I walked an hour and a half and I rode my bike for an hour. On Sunday, I walked an hour and a half and given my slow riding speed I also rode my bike for close to an hour and a half. Oh wait - that's not doing a bit more day by day - that's doubling the amount of exercise my poor body is currently accustomed to!

Maybe I'm lucky today is an overcast and rainy day... I woke up this morning still feeling tired, and that's in spite of sleeping for ten hours last night. I have to admit that sleeping is still an issue for me right now. My body seems to need more than eight hours of sleep right now, with nine to ten hours appearing to be the magic numbers. Unfortunately I rarely get more than eight hours of sleep since I'm having problems falling asleep at night. So I either really wore myself out over the past couple of days or my body was finally reacting to a couple of nights short of sleep. In either case, I think a day of relative rest is probably a good idea. I'll get out and walk even if it keeps raining - after all that's what umbrellas are meant for. But I think I'll give the bike a rest for the day. I don't especially like riding in the rain, so I'm not likely to go out right now, and even if the pavement dries out it's probably a good idea to exercise some control and not ride today.

The rest of the week? Well I think and hope that's a different story. I plan to continue to do some walking each day, and I plan to also try to do some riding each day. I need to figure out how to balance everything and still improve my fitness level without totally tiring myself out, which could prove to be a step backwards. And of course add to that the fact that I'm still working up to working full-time! I need to be moving in a forward direction, improving every day as much as possible - even if it's a little bit. After all, I still have a vacation goal of riding my bike around the Big Island of Hawaii at the end of October.

Late in the day... I had a much quieter day today, but I still managed to walk for an hour plus. It was the right decision not to ride today, even if the weather had been more tempting. I have a feeling that working up to my normal riding capacity will take quite a while, and my hopes yesterday of working up to commuting to work by bike by the end of July were probably quite unrealistic. That is only four weeks away after all! If I was starting from a normal beginning of season state that would likely be reasonable, but I suspect that with having to work out the after effects of an injured brain (and not just bones and muscle) that it may take longer to get back to normal. I still hope and believe that I have the time to recover a reasonable state of fitness well before my planned departure to Hawaii. Here's hoping that's not just an idle dream!

My bike is calling, and

I know I should wait for the doc's OK, but... OK, OK, I'm listening to my bike!

---

Yes, you're right - this journal entry really is from the same day as the last one was...

And really - you can believe me - I had good intentions, and I was going to wait for an OK to ride from the neurosurgeon. But then my appointment was moved out two weeks. And I went to the bike shop and bought a new helmet. And I have bikes sitting in the garage just waiting to be ridden. And it's been just over six weeks since I was on a bike and I can't stand not riding any more!

My first ride was an after-dinner jaunt. I'm still eating very early because I'm trying to pay attention to my body. When it says eat, I eat. Very simple. So there was plenty of daylight left.

The puzzle of the day was to remember how to open the clips on my Sidi riding shoes. (You are laughing about that, right?) I have to admit it took me a minute - and now I think I know why the paramedics just pulled my shoes off without loosening them! No problem, the buckles are released, shoes on, buckles tightened, helmet on, ready to go...

It was a 13 mile ride at just under 13 miles an hour. And who said that 13 isn't a lucky number? By my mind it is very lucky! The fact that I haven't been riding was definitely noticeable on uphills, but I wasn't trying to break any speed records, just to have a nice casual ride. Amazingly enough, I didn't feel any pain at all from that previously broken pelvic bone. I notice it when I do a long walk, but I didn't notice anything while I was biking. There was a little twinge afterward, but nothing bad.

I started out by riding the same road that I rode the fateful morning of May 20th. And I have to tell you, I didn't see anything wrong with the road surface. That is, nothing other than is normally wrong. There are cracks in the road surface, and there's an occasional bump, but nothing that stood out. I guess I'll just have to believe that it was bad luck and that there was something in the road that I hit or that I somehow got my front tire caught in a crack unexpectedly. I'll never know - so maybe it's time to make something up! Not really - I'll just accept that I don't know the cause of my stellar crash, and I'll trust that it won't happen again.


A very happy cyclist after my first ride in just over six weeks! Yes, there are still red spots on my face that have nothing to do with sweat and exercise. And yes, this is my new helmet, and yes, I did adjust the strap near my ear and there is not a gap there anymore!

The real state of my bike

And a new helmet (uh oh, I'm ready to go!)

Today was the day for taking my bike to my favorite bike shop. And guess what - it's in better shape than I thought. When I looked at the bike, I saw shift/brake levers that weren't quite where they were supposed to be (especially the left lever) and that had pieces missing (actually shaved or knocked off the top). The front tire was flat, and the wheel appeared to be no where near true. Luckily for my wallet, the bike is pretty much OK. The mechanic simply pushed the levers back where they belonged and then ran through the shifting. He said he could replace the missing and displaced pieces on the top of the levers, and recommended continuing to use the levers that are on the bike until they stop working. Both appear to be good right now. And the wheel? Well it turns out that was an optical illusion because the tire is flat, and in fact the wheel is still round. Amazing. I guess I already knew this - I did a lot more damage to my body than to my bike! But since I was already there, and since I had been about to take my bike in for a tune-up before May 20th happened, I left the bike at the shop for a tune-up and to have them replace the missing lever pieces and to fix the flat. (OK, you're right - I could have changed the tire myself... but sometimes it's good to be lazy and to let someone else deal with it!)



After my conversation with the mechanic, I headed over to the helmet display. I can't get back on my bike until I have a new helmet - so it was time for a purchase. As usual I was looking for something lightweight with lots of air flow. I bought a Giro Pneumo, which is actually the same helmet that saved me in my crash.

So - I'm ready to go. Yes, I won't get my Pocket Rocket back until Tuesday, but I do have two other bikes to ride. And yes, I know I'm supposed to wait for an OK from the neurosurgeon - but I have to tell you that it's getting harder every day to stay off of my bike. Right now I'm sitting in my living room with my computer on my lap and with the television on so I can watch the prologue of the Tour de France. When that's over, I'm going to repeat that walk into Andover Center that tired me out last Saturday. I'm hoping that a week's improvement (and continued exercise via walking) will allow me to feel closer to normal when I get home this time.

Late afternoon: Home again... I did walk into Andover and back home again, I'd guess about four miles total given the roads that I took. It was a huge improvement from last week. My leg - specifically the area of the pelvic bone fracture - was complaining some by the time I arrived home, but I felt like I was able to maintain the same pace for the entire walk. That's much better than last week's effort!

The problem now? Well, I knew it would be a problem as soon as I had a helmet to wear, no surprises here. (And you probably knew it was a problem too after reading the entry I wrote before I took my walk!) I really want to try riding. Really, really, really... And yes, I do know that it's quite possible that riding might feel just awful. I was planning to wait until after the visit with the neurosurgeon - the appointment that I was supposed to have two days ago until his office canceled due to emergencies, and the appointment that is now another two weeks in the future. It's late in the day on the Saturday of a three-day weekend, so there really isn't a chance that I'll go out today. Tomorrow or the next day? Only time will tell!

I was hoping for permission to ride

What do you mean my appointment is canceled?

I was supposed to have an appointment with a neurosurgeon at Mass General this morning. It's quite possible I met him while I was in the hospital but there's no memory of our meeting. I say supposed to because his office called - luckily before I set out for Boston - to cancel the appointment. Multiple emergency surgeries. OK, that's probably the right priority, but at the time of the cancellation the admin told me she'd call back later to reschedule because she had to do all of the cancellations first. Wait - isn't it the same appointment system to cancel one appointment and schedule another? Or do they have one damned silly computer system down there?

When the admin told me the new appointment would probably be in 2 to 3 weeks, I asked her if there was anything she could do about that. Because I was civil and polite and didn't (really) give her a hard time, she said she'd try for an earlier appointment. I'm still waiting to hear... and I'm getting impatient. This is the doc I need to talk with about starting to ride again. I'm walking, but I want to be riding. If that appointment is another 3 weeks out - well do you want to take bets on whether I'll be attempting to ride before getting the official OK?

Update on July 2nd: The doc's admin just called and told me my new appointment is on July 15th. Two weeks out. That's not unexpected, but it is disappointing. The big question in my mind still remains - will I have enough control to wait for the doc's OK before attempting to ride my bike?

I do have at least one important thing (on my own list, that is - who knows what the doc will want?) to do before I hop back on a bike, and that is to buy a new helmet. That's on my weekend list of things to do, along with dropping my poor injured bike off at the bike shop for the much awaited repairs.

Good days & bad days

Non-biking exercise, and working from home

I've been better than I expected at accepting that I can't bike yet, and I've been trying to get out walking 2 to 3 times a day for 20 to 30 minutes each time. I was hoping to swim too, but 2 things are still stopping me - some swelling on my forehead that will prevent me from comfortably wearing goggles, and the remainder of my post traumatic benign vertigo. I believe it is improving, but going from a vertical to a horizontal position (or from a horizontal to vertical position), while easier than it was, still causes the room to spin.

On Saturday I actually walked into Andover to go to the drug store. A car? Yes, it's easier to drive, but I figured it would be a good walk. Probably 3 1/2 to 4 miles in total since I don't seem to follow a straight route. The walk in was fine, but I was definitely tired and slowing down on the way home. What a change an accident makes! I wasn't at my full summer cycling mileage (per week) at the time of the accident, but I was close. At this point I believe that it's going to take me a while to work up to my normal level of activity - and I have to believe that the bulk of my slowness has to do with the brain injury and not the broken bones. Yes, sometimes the area of the broken pelvic bone whines at me about being sore, but it's typically not sore enough to stop me - and I'm hoping that it either gets better or I get used to it - and I have to have something to think is causing this. Hmmm... I really did get hurt, didn't I?

I asked a colleague to load up our latest software on my work computer - luckily a laptop - and bring it to me. It was good to see him, and it's good to be able to work from home for a while. Not full days yet, but whatever my body will accept...

I'm still having good days and bad days. Yesterday was a bad day, in spite of my managing to get in 2 walks and about 5 hours worth of work. For some reason I had passing nausea on a regular basis. I never actually vomited, but I have to tell you that I didn't feel very good.

Today I felt better - what a difference! I woke up too early, which unfortunately is pretty normal for me right now. The docs say I need a lot of sleep, and I think they mean more than I'm getting. I woke at 5am after falling asleep last night about 11. I stayed in bed in the hopes of falling asleep again, but I think I only managed about another 45 minutes. I finally gave up, retrieved the newspaper from the front walk, and had some breakfast. I then headed to the office for a visit. I was good - I left my work laptop computer at home because I figured if I took it in with me that I'd end up staying too long and then I wouldn't be capable of driving home. (I know, I know, not the kind of problem you're used to hearing about.) It was good to see people again. I was probably there about an hour and a half, then it was time to head home. I still managed to get two walks in today, plus a bit of real work. That is, in between fixing a strange all-of-a-sudden problem with my cable modem. Many thanks to Rob from work for helping me through that one!

I feel like I need to push myself to work at recovering, but I wonder if my body is telling me I'm overdoing it?